Our bumper fleet landed in Abudban. Brandy Ballbuster recognized me from Caldari highsec, but the rest of the locals were unfamiliar with the New Order.
All that was about to change. We had two dozen bumpers in our fleet. Nothing in highsec can stand against such power. The Agents of the New Order descended upon the ice field with dizzying speed. By the time the AFK'ers woke up, the whole place was in disarray.
It was a raid! Our Agents took the Abudban system completely by surprise and demanded to see everyone's mining permits.
Capt Lynch still had a score to settle with rebel leader Anslo. But Anslo was nowhere to be found, so Capt put his Machariel to good use, bumping Orcas and demanding they comply with the Code.
The locals had no idea how to respond. In a panic and totally helpless, a Mackinaw and his Orca alt gave me the carebear stare.
In desperation, some miners threatened to declare war against me. Wildfire Willie Auscent tried to intimidate us by invoking his "powerful friends in nullsec". Claiming he would rally TEST against us? Not very convincing.
When locking us with exhumers and threatening wardecs didn't work, some took the CCP route.
Space lawyer Maplefox, like all space lawyers, was absolutely confident that what we were doing violated the EULA. I guess he's the expert on miner bumping, right?
Hero Miner crab nicholson extreme followed us from Tolle so he could mine in our new vacation home. He urged his fellow ice miners to join the New Order and reap the benefits.
AKAgunner1 had a cunning plan, though he wouldn't tell us what it was. Had CCP given him the prototype for an anti-bump module?
We never did find out what module he thought would save him. Whatever it was, he carried it with him into deep space.
When his "mystery module" gambit didn't work out, AKAgunner1 threatened to report us to his friends. He wished us luck. He must be a lucky charm, because we continued to have excellent luck!
Without warning, a dreaded warp scramble notification was broadcast across the ice field. One of our Agents was under attack!
The rebel miner Roaxis Stalomainis tried to kill our Agent by launching a suicide gank with a Rifter. Interestingly enough, the Rifter was named "Prototype".
I inspected the wreck and found a smartbomb. I guess if you don't yet have the skills for a smartbombing Merlin, a smartbombing Rifter will do in a pinch.
The smartbombing frigate failed to do any damage to our Agent before Concord arrived. When performing a suicide gank, high-DPS setups are generally preferred over low-DPS setups. Damage is necessary when attempting to kill a ship in EVE.
Roaxis was undaunted. The smartbombing Rifter may have failed to stop the New Order, but GMs would no doubt report to the Abudban ice field and put a stop to this "bumping" business.
Could the New Order continue to liberate Abudban, or would the rebellious miners find a way to defeat us? Would the "Proveldtariat" or another anti-Order resistance group show its face? Or would everyone come to their senses and purchase mining permits for an affordable 10 million isk?
To be continued...
This stuff is hilarious, please never stop.
ReplyDeleteI'm particularly fond of the continued claim that bumping is harassment. It's almost as though these people never actually read CCP's definition on the matter which differs greatly from any other game. This is for the uneducated:
ReplyDelete"A grief player, or "griefer," is a player who devotes much of his time to making others’ lives miserable, in a large part deriving his enjoyment of the game from these activities while he does not profit from it in any way. Grief tactics are the mechanics a griefer will utilize to antagonize other players. At our discretion, players who are found to be consistently maliciously interfering with the game experience for others may receive a warning, temporary suspension or permanent banning of his account."
Take special note of the part that mentions profit. You see, it is not griefing if the act is profitable. Seeing as miner bumping is profitable, it is not considered griefing by CCP.
I forgot to add the reference link: http://support.eveonline.com/Pages/KB/Article.aspx?id=336
DeletePreach it!
ReplyDelete-Pig
Not only is the New Order saving High Sec, I have great stories to read over my morning coffee. This is really the gift that keeps on giving.
ReplyDeleteTHE PROTOTYPE!
ReplyDeleteI've gotten two wardecs so far. That money could have been spent to buy 10 mining permits for the misguided miners of Abudban!
lol Lynch
ReplyDeleteIf you're still looking for Anslo I saw him near Dodixie...
ReplyDeleteEver keep bumping !
Anslo's already admitted that he's in Abudban on an alt, he's apparently too frightened to be there openly for some reason.
Delete