The Rebels Strike Back, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Rebel forces have struggled to come up with a coherent plan to counterattack the New Order, which is stomping all over highsec. Rebels have debated many different tactics, but have mostly settled on the strategy of producing large quantities of miner tears.

Alac Carrel jumped at the opportunity to join a rebel fleet. Sadly, the text never came.

Another rebel boldly predicted victory, "when the time is just right". For resistance fighters, these guys can be very picky. The timing is never quite right.

After losing his ship due to a Code violation, Michael Loney recommended his fellow miners petition us to CCP for the crime of scamming.

Despite being as wrong as possible, Michael was absolutely confident about his interpretation of the rules: There's no scamming in EVE, you see. He lectured everyone in system about the finer points of the EULA.

If it only it were possible to bottle up a space lawyer's confidence and sell it.

Kendra Valen didn't think it was against the rules to gank miners, but she had faith that CCP would put a stop to it eventually. As I've always said, this is what carebears want. They're not interested in balancing game mechanics and all that other jazz. They just want highsec to be 100% safe for AFK mining. Oh, and it has to be highly profitable, too.

Meanwhile, Neckbeard TheFierce encouraged others to put a (bigger) bounty on me, though the bounty has had zero effect, since it doesn't make killing an Invincible Stabber any easier--or more tempting, given the bounty formula. I predicted this months ago, but that hasn't stopped the carebears from wasting money on ludicrous bounties for me and Agents of the New Order.

Then there's the phantom nullsec merc corp that never arrives. Part of the problem may be that nullsec mercenaries don't spend much time in highsec. And, to the extent the mercenaries exist, they know a bad deal when they see one.

A rebel sniper proudly trumpeted "his" Catalyst kills, which did nothing since it was Concord that did the work. Since snipers generally can't kill a Catalyst until faction police or Concord arrive, they have no effect on the gank. Even on the rare occasions that they do kill a Catalyst a second or two before the police show up, it shaves only a fraction of the DPS from one Catalyst, which itself represents only a fraction of the gang.

Perhaps that's why after participating in several dozen ganks, I have never actually witnessed rebels successfully prevent a gank. I'm told it's happened before, but basically they sit in the ice fields all day and watch helplessly as the miners die. If they linger too long, however, they occasionally find themselves in the crosshairs.

After seeing one too many ganks succeed despite rebel interference, Corrin Javalle throws up his hands. It's impossible to stop the Knights of the Order. Carebears, behold your champion!

In the end, the rebels have found themselves unable to do anything but cry--and suggest that other people stop us. Why? Because ultimately, the people who oppose us are people who support bots and bot-aspirancy. Their way of life in EVE is all about putting no effort into anything. It's hard to fight when you're AFK.

Those who do want to play EVE end up joining the New Order, where they belong.