The Female Relative

Do you remember Lisanna struss? To refresh your memory, he was the self-appointed protector of illegal mining who wailed for a half-hour on TeamSpeak about the loss of his fail-fit Drake. If you missed that post, I strongly recommend you read it now and listen to the audio recording. Once you're caught up, feel free to rejoin the rest of us.

As Agent loyalanon was AFK in station one day, the notorious Lisanna struss entered local and began typing a series of messages. To begin with, he announced that it would be his sister, not Lisanna himself, who would be at the keyboard. Naturally, such a claim must be received only with the greatest of skepticism. But this time, it was actually true.

Lisanna's older sister, identifying herself as "Keisha", made known her feelings about what had happened to Lisanna, or "Steven". Since loyalanon was AFK, there was no conversation; Keisha's monologue was simply logged. Why was Steven's sister getting involved? Because she had bankrolled the account with PLEX, and presumably Steven had run out of isk due to the New Order.

Armed only with the (outrageously biased) background information Steven had given her, Keisha began to explain why the Code was not a good thing. She had never played EVE before, but knew a bit about the game from what her brother told her.

After half an hour with no reply from the AFK Agent, Keisha concluded her remarks.

Steven's big sister eventually allowed him to regain access to his EVE character. He disavowed everything that had occurred during the previous hour.

A few days later, he learned of the MinerBumping post that had been made about his Drake and his previous adventures on TeamSpeak. He vowed to launch an investigation and to post some kind of a rebuttal on YouTube.

At this point, you might be wondering why New Order Intelligence is so confident that Lisanna does, in fact, have an older sister. It's because Agent loyalanon was able to arrange a meeting on TeamSpeak with both "Steven" and "Keisha". What follows is one of the most remarkable recordings we have yet heard. In Ripard Teg's infamous essay sparking the Erotica 1 controversy/witch-hunt, Ripard repeatedly urged EVE players to get an outside perspective. Specifically, he said to tell a "female relative" about the things that go on in EVE. He was confident that EVE players' female relatives would be horrified by all the scamming and PvP. How would Lisanna's sister react when loyalanon explained why Lisanna's Drake had been destroyed?

SoundCloud: Lisanna and his sister discuss the New Order

The more loyalanon explained the Code and what the New Order does, the more she sympathized with our cause. She admitted that if she played EVE, she would probably want to go around shooting miners, too. When she asked her brother why he didn't just join the New Order, Lisanna patiently explained that ganking miners isn't "elite PvP". In the past, Lisanna had tried to get his sister interested in playing EVE, but there was nothing in his carebear career that drew her in. Now, to Lisanna's dismay, his own sister expressed an interest in joining the New Order to gank miners.

After the TeamSpeak conference ended, Lisanna passed on a message to loyalanon on behalf of his sister. There is nothing surprising about it. Many a woman have been captivated by a dashing young Agent of the New Order, piloting a gleaming Catalyst in a ganking op drilled to perfection. On the other side of the ledger, few men can deny the obvious appeal of a woman who enforces the Code.

BONUS! Though Lisanna never made good on his promise to create an anti-Order YouTube video, MinerBumping never leaves its readers empty-handed. loyalanon created his own YouTube video. It's not necessarily anti-Order. In fact, it's a tribute to me. But since the carebears don't have a valid point of view of their own, it's all good.

Dedication to James 315 (VIDEO)