Investigated for Taking People's Fun and Enjoyment

Henry David Thoreau once wrote, "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." I believe he was speaking of highsec miners. The New Order can't always stop the miners from being desperate, but we can usually make them less quiet. A good gank and they'll pour out their hearts to you.

Meet Hans Karl Myer. He has spent the last two years of his life mining in highsec. It's all he does. It's all he's ever done. In the limitless EVE sandbox, he can think of nothing better than watching his mining lasers cycle. It is a sad life.

There's one other thing you should know about Hans. He does not own a mining permit. He didn't know it, but this put him on a collision course with destiny.

Destiny came in the form of Agent Zane Arnolles, who ganked Hans' fail-fit Retriever while it was illegally gathering ice. Hans responded by sending Zane an interesting EVEmail, which Hans also forwarded to Zane's CEO, loyalanon.

Despite two years of mining, Hans had nothing but that Retriever with which to mine, so he had to quit the game. Hans also confessed to petitioning Zane--for the foul crime of PvP in highsec. According to Hans, CCP told him they would investigate the corp for "taking the fun and peoples enjoyment out of the game."

Say what you want about Agent loyalanon, but he always sticks up for his people. He told Hans that he approved of Zane's actions. He then questioned how Hans could "enjoy" spending years AFK mining in highsec.

Hans claimed seniority.

The New Order does not consist of ageists. (In fact, most of our Agents are 12 year-olds. At least, that's what the carebears tell me.) People don't get special favors depending on how old they are. All must buy permits. loyalanon tried to get this point across. However...

...Hans was reluctant to get a license. He preferred to stay "off the grid", I suppose.

Despite all the New Order had to offer, the carebear had chosen to join the resistance. He offered no additional insight into CCP's allegedly ongoing "Does the New Order take people's fun away?" investigation.

Having exchanged pleasantries at length, loyalanon decided it was time to cut to the chase. He wanted to know what was going on in that 51 year-old miner's head. Why had he spent so many years mining in highsec? Why did he care so much about a single Retriever? Were it not for our Agents, these would remain mysteries forever. But now, having been given the opportunity to play EVE and interact with others for the first time, Hans Karl Myer would open up to the world and speak his truth.

And yet, as is so often the case in highsec, the carebear's "truth" produced more questions than answers. If he was so wealthy, why couldn't he buy another Retriever? Would he really have bought a permit if he'd been asked politely before being blown up? Why can he only mine white glaze now, instead of blue? And without Hans, where will PvP corps ever find another source for blue ice?

We still don't know all the answers. Maybe we never will. But the New Order will never give up its search for truth. Every bot-aspirant is a mystery worth solving.