Today, friend, you got it.
Agent Sasha Nyemtsov's audio commentaries on the Code have made him a household name in educated circles. He's a luminary. Even the foulest of the rebels give him a grudging respect. Inevitably, the public demanded that Sasha do an audio recording of the entire Code, spoken in the way that only Sasha Nyemtsov can speak it.
Such a project is no mean feat, even for someone as gifted as Sasha. You'll recall that many Bonus Round participants struggled with the task of reading the entire Code aloud--despite (generously) being given the opportunity to correct their verbal mistakes without starting over from the beginning of the document.
Sasha's reading of the Code--with a runtime reaching nearly 17 minutes--was all performed in a single take. That ain't duck soup, folks. It's a remarkable achievement made possible only by absolute commitment to the Code. Behold:
This recording represents an important strategic victory for the New Order. Its applications are limitless. Making use of the latest technology, you can download the recording and pipe it into your preferred mobile listening device. Have a job? Listen to the Code on your way to work. Have a non-EVE-playing spouse who hasn't yet made time for a thorough study of the Code? This is your go-to gift for your next wedding anniversary. Have small children? Play the Code as you drive them home from school. Just became U.S. President and looking for tracks to fill the iPod you're presenting the Queen? Sasha's got you covered. Studying up for your next Bonus Round? You get the idea.
Highsec is changing. We can all see it. Now hear it.
Sweet molasses.
ReplyDeleteThis is really good and is exactly how I hoped lucky bonus round participants would read it!
ReplyDeleteI encourage agents to link this soundcloud in local and encouraging evemails to permit prospects. Also, maybe toss Sasha some isk for such a great contribution to the New Order, along with a share purchase to celebrate.
Ok I admit it, I have been sitting on the toilet long after finishing because this is so good.
ReplyDeleteThat was... beautiful. Like a warm blanket.
ReplyDeleteAmazing!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe Code Always Wins.
By the Amarrian Gods...
ReplyDeleteGet a gig as an audio book recorder, Sasha. That voice... I would proudly sleep with you.
content good, his voice just BLEH. thene again not everybody can love the same thing :)
ReplyDeleteIt's like having Charles Dance read the code to me
ReplyDeleteSasha my friend, you did it justice.
ReplyDeleteI want you all to know why I want highsec to burn. It's not really about the game, it's not even about the 10 million isk for a mining permit. It's about religion. Is EvE a religion? Yes it is, and it has become a disease, a cancer if you will on our society. The real purpose of the code is to use role-playing to justify ganking players so they will leave the game. If enough miners and haulers keep getting ganked continuously, eventually they will leave the game. If enough leave the game, then there will be no materials for which to build ships, weapons, ammo, or modules. Eventually, the game will come to a halt and fold. My good friend and sociopath Erotica 1 was trying to do this but took it too far, got noticed, and was banned. I for one do my best to operate within the rules of the game as laid out by CCP. Unbeknownst to CCP though, I am using the game against them.
ReplyDeleteWhy do I hate the game and the community so much? Let me tell you about myself. My real name is James Mycroft. I am a British lad of 47 years old who immigrated to the United States when I was 15 with my parents. I attended John Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland in 1992 with a degree in pathology. Before I came to America though, I was slated to become a member of the priesthood of the Roman Catholic Church. When I was an alter boy, however, I was molested multiple times by a highly respected priest who was actually a pedophile. He was never disciplined by the church. This experience has scarred me. I decided that being a priest was not the direction that I wanted to go.
So I did what was expected of me. I went to school, earned my degree, found a good paying job, started a family of my own. However, my rape that was visited upon me in my youth left me feeling empty. I abused my wife and kids. She, and they, have stretch marks on their faces because of my abuse. I spent some time in jail because of it. While I was in the big house, I was raped repeatedly by my cellmate. The repeated bite marks in my pillow were evident for all to see. But I LIKED it. I liked getting my anal cavity hollowed out by another mans' penis. I liked the feeling of having my rectum filled with seminal fluid. When I was finally released from jail, I was still feeling empty inside.
That's when I found EvE Online. As I played the game, I thought back to the first time that I was violated by a priest. That's when the idea struck me. If religion has a savior in Jesus, then EvE Online can have a savior in me. It took me many months to write the code. I wanted it to be as awe inspiring as The Ten Commandments from the Bible. When I was finally finished, I christened it 'The Code' and the New Order was born. Many flocked to my banner which promised change. People were looking up to me. People were needing me. People were loving me. People were begging me to lead them to a new level of knowledge and insight. I taught them the art of the suicide gank. I taught them how to manipulate CONCORD. I taught them how to live in highsec with a -10.0 security status.
As my followers grew, my delusion grew with them. I have now come to the conclusion that I am the chosen one who will be the second coming. I have become the Savior of Highsec. There are many miners out there who are butt hurt over my coming to power, but in time, even they will see that I will personally burn highsec into the dust of the sinful computer code from which it was born. I have become the light. I have become the savior. I have become my own purpose. I have become a god.
James 315 - Miner Bumping
Anonymous August 11, 2014 at 3:44 PM
DeletePlease do not feed the troll its not james
This James wishes in his wildest dreams he could write as well as the real one.
Deleteat best it's 2/10, too strained and obvious. Needs more subtle and witty.
Delete"As awe inspiring as The Ten Commandments from the Bible" That is some mighty high praise from a troll post. I guess its true what they say:
DeleteThe Code always
Oh thank goodness that isn't the real you, DJ. That troll *almost* had me convinced that you had decided to abandon your position of esteem within our community to pursue your real passion of writing homoerotic James 315 fanfic. Glad to see it's still just the rebels doing that, though.
DeleteOn second thought, I kinda like the idea of writing a homoerotic James 315 fanfic.
DeleteDJ Entropy, Erotica 1, and Loyalanon. Meet me at code HQ tonight for a little rendezvous. Oh, Loyalanon, we need you to bring your wife again. She needs to film us and she needs more stretch marks on her face. Don't worry. I'll give you all new clones when we are done.
Deleteare you even trying anymore?
DeleteAt this point, no. I'm just enticing for more posts.
DeleteBest Ever Listering Honor bestoved upon us
ReplyDeleteWow! Just wow!
ReplyDeleteHave to shut my daughter in!
Unless they play Eve, I'm guessing that will be like giving a basketball player a golf club.
ReplyDeleteI agree, Anon 10:26. It could serve as a wonderful introduction to a new hobby to share with a friend.
ReplyDeleteThey will receive the code and they will like it, just like the rest of the carebear scum.
ReplyDeleteWE ARE THE BORG. LOWER YOUR SHIELDS AND SURRENDER YOUR SHIPS. WE WILL ADD YOUR BIOLOGICAL AND TECHNOLOGICAL DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR CULTURE WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.
ReplyDeleteOMG this was EPIC
ReplyDelete- Mace Windsocket
I’m so grateful for this information
ReplyDeletesexy girls