Jason Schaeffer was caught illegally mining with a Retriever worth over half a billion isk. The expensive mining barge's fittings are baffling--until you realize Jason was an unrepentant bot-aspirant. He didn't think ship fittings mattered in highsec. Agent ZannaZ Azizora taught him otherwise.
Freakerzoom had a funny little name. He was the asteroid belt's class clown, you might say. Our Agents enjoy a good joke as much as the next guy. But the Code is no laughing matter--unlike the 768 million isk Mackinaw's fail-fit. Agents Gohman Patrouette and Gallie Crendraven laughed at Freakerzoom's name and ship, then seriously performed their duties as enforcers of the Code.
Fail-fit mining ships and permit-less carebears are walking tragedies. Nevertheless, we understand the root causes of those things, so they feel less tragic to us. Leone Jr Fabbro's stomach-turning miner Rokh, on the other hand... Agents loyalanon, Quaker Oatmeal, Gohman Patrouette, Misty Stenier-Tian, Gallie Crendraven, and holdmybeer took one look at this abomination and proclaimed, "Not in our highsec!"
Maya Otsolen was a woman in a hurry. She equipped her jump freighter with a set of new modules that enhance a ship's warp drive. Why would she do this? Maya was on the run. She had a 10 million isk debt to the New Order and no intention of paying it. Our Agents have other ways of collecting, though. Sophia Soprano, Dias Rajashi, Dios Rajash, Bypbyp, CODE Agent AC, LarcatOfZion, Daishi Saria, Diasho Shorin, reaper Shardani, Sasha Cohenberg, BeBopAReBop RhubarbPie, Braggs Seyllin, Dios Rojosh, karma balancer, Diaz Serine, loyalanon, Dashio Sariana, Misty Stenier-Tian, Quaker Oatmeal, holdmybeer, Vexxatious, and Ahab of Pequod blew up Maya's 8.7 billion isk ship and helped themselves to the loot.
Stream7ine McBeth lost his Orca to Agent loyalanon. The fact that loyalanon killed the Orca is not very surprising, since the CODE always wins.
The question is, how did this kill come about? I'll let Stream7ine give you a hint:
Faster than you can say "miner calm down", the offender was destroyed, along with his half-billion isk pod. The good news is, miners don't need to be ready to submit to the will of James 315. They only need to enter highsec. From that point forward, they're obligated to follow the Code.
Captain Stupid was plodding along in his 3.2 billion isk pod when he was smartbombed by Agent Piir8, who was guarding a lowsec system. How did Captain Stupid react? You might be surprised. See for yourself:
And that, friends, is why Agents of the New Order have won the respect of countless thousands of EVE players. Gallantry, nobility, integrity. You'll never find a bad Agent.
I think my favorite is the faction cloaking device on the mining Rokh.
ReplyDeleteCaptain Stupid is a true gallant.
ReplyDeleteTo dawg, I heard you like rocks...
ReplyDeleteSo I put rocks in a rokh so that you can rock with your rokh.
strange i checked the killboard of loyalanon but didnt found the orca kill at 2.november
ReplyDeletehttps://zkillboard.com/character/1941616627/page/4/
is there something wrong with zkillboard?
thanks for your help
https://zkillboard.com/kill/42218823/
DeleteYou are just a retard.
Zkill isn't reliable, it misses a lot of kills in the game.
DeleteIIRC, it still isn't showing that 1.8 bill hauler I popped a few months back....
---Mike Adoulin
i see the kill of loyalanon if i click on the link minerbumping but if i search for loyalanon at 2.november it does not show any orca kill, thats strange .....
ReplyDeleteand you are just an arrogant git...
DeleteThat's probably because the kill was on November 5 instead of November 2.
Delete"Our Agents have the undying respect of countless carebears."
ReplyDelete11 confirmed, James ran out of fingers. Even that is quite a lot, he's probably lying as usual.
funny how the 315 squad makes people like you squirm XD
DeleteHmm.. I haven't noticed, I don't squirm at all. People like you have really weird idea of funny.
DeleteDon't forget Dream Five's fail fit Dramiel!
ReplyDeletehttps://zkillboard.com/kill/42302744/
Or, since that's clearly a cargo scanner, has Dream Five decided to scan haulers so he could watch-list and gank them later!?!??!??
Nevertheless, the Code always wins!
At least she tried to help people and make the game better instead of awoxxing, griefing, and generally being miserable.
DeleteKeep up the bad work, foxxie.
If you call "crippling newbies with bad advice" as "help" then she's worse than any griefer. Oh, while you're at it please post proof of your supposed and apparently effective altruism. Pastebins, mails are accepted.
DeleteJust seen that dram fit. Thank heavens you killed that Fox. If she's offering help while flying a waste of ISK like that she deserved all opprobrium heaped on her. I'm sure no miner will ever suspect anything's afoot while the fastest faction ship is scanning them. Not even you veers. Oh no.
DeleteAs the one and only Butthurt Miner, I would give my obligatory troll. However, not this time. This time, I have a few things to say about some of those kills. Let's go down the list, shall we?
ReplyDeleteJason Schaeffer
I have never seen a mining ship with TWO armor reppers before. Dont' get me wrong, I have seen armor tanked ships that have multiple armor reppers. But this guy is using CIVILIAN armor repairers. Dude, at least get T1, which is better. That and the faction stripminers... If you want high yeild, then get into T2 stripminers with mining crystals. Geezzz, it doesn't take that long to train these skills.
Freakerzoom
This is kind of a kitchen sink fit. I would have put Therm/Kinetic shield resistance boosters, added anti-thermal/anti-kinetic rigs, and I would have added a mining laser upgrade. Add to that list a shield booster and leave the survey scanner. Not much else to say at this point. Make sure you fill your slots. That's why they are there.
Leone Jr Fabbro
WTF? A battleship with mining lasers? Really? And a faction cloaking device that requires a long ass train to cloaking 5 to use? Notice that he's not even using a T2 damage control. It doesn't take long to train for it. Mechanics level 4 I think which is a rank one skill. It would be more advantageous to train mechanics to level 5 instead of cloaking to level 5. The only thing that cloaking level 5 gets you is a shorter targeting blackout and the use of the faction cloaking device. I have it trained to 4 to use a covert ops cloaking device II. I don't know how many of you look at this, but to top it off, he's using a MEDIUM railgun on a ship that fits LARGE guns. Somebody please educate this guy. /wrists
Maya Otsolen
You know, if you are going to be hauling 2 billion worth of cargo, at least fit some reinforced bulkheads. I use T2 myself, but even T1 is better than those warp modules. CCP should probably add one more slot to those freighters, a slot to fit a DC2.
Stream7ine McBeth
You know, I fly an Orca as well. It's currently full anti-tank since the areas that I mine in aren't dangerous. Yes, I have 2x cargo expander IIs, and 3 T1 cargo rigs. However, I do have 2x T2 invulnerability fields, T2 large shield booster, and a large cap booster. It's all about surviving until CONCORD shows up. Now, a mix cargo/tank fit does not work. And loose the AB. Try again.
Captain Stupid
Flying around in lowsec in your pod is just asking to get ganked. But I guess that ganking doesn't exist in low/null. Too bad he lived up to his name. At least he was jolly about it.
Remember when I said I wasn't going to troll this time? I lied.
Delete"The burden of a New Order Agent is a heavy one. On their shoulders they carry the weight of having absolute authority over the games of hundreds of thousands of highsec carebears."
Until the carebears start shooting back. Then code agents leave the system, running away with their tails between their legs just like they did at the 2014 AT. I have personally witnessed this.
"Our Agents have the undying respect of countless carebears."
More like actual derision.
"The fact that loyalanon killed the Orca is not very surprising, since the CODE always wins."
Now who is parroting who? So DJ Entropy, tell me, have you stooped so low as to rip off Wolf Soprano's brain-dead line?
"The good news is, miners don't need to be ready to submit to the will of James 315. They only need to enter highsec. From that point forward, they're obligated to follow the Code."
Strange, I never follow the code. I always mine AFK and nothing. This means that the code is impotent in most areas of highsec. Just avoid the systems that they patrol and you will be fine.
"And that, friends, is why Agents of the New Order have won the respect of countless thousands of EVE players. Gallantry, nobility, integrity. You'll never find a bad Agent."
The thousands of EvE players don't respect you, they laugh at you. Since the only thing that you can do is gank miners, freighters, and autopiloters who are pretty much garunteed not to shoot back. The moment people start shooting back, the code runs. Simple as that. Gallantry, nobility, integrity? You'll never find a bad Agent? Then explain why a bunch of code agents like Jerry Rin, DJ Entopy, D400, and let's not forget the infamous Erotica 1, were permanently banned by CCP. I'll tell you why: They were trying to shit on people while having that black dildo up their ass.
This is another quality trollific post from your friends at Carebears United.
We are many. We are strong. The code has fallen. The code has failed. A code free highsec is right here, right now. We have done it, we have saved highsec from the savior of highsec, all carebears rejoice.
Butthurt Miner at his best, 'nuff said.
DeleteBHMiner: Odd, I live in lowsec with people that shoot back.. Explain? I'm confused.
Delete-Rabe, CODE. diplo
Exception proves the rule.
Delete-Me, Highsec Carebear, Mission Runner
the fact BM has to state that he's making a troll post means it's clearly not that good
Delete"Mission Accomplished!"
Deleteworked well last time it was said
The war's over, right?
lol is this Butthurt Miner post supposed to be like "The Talking Dead" where people sit around and talk about "The Walking Dead"? Or was it supposed to be his own spin on his kills of the week? I'm just not sure!
DeleteEver considered that code-monkeys fed themself their own victims alts?
Deleteloyalanon kill on a orca at 5.november.
ReplyDeletewas it using a killright or was the orca suspect or a duel invite?
Stream7ine McBeth
Caldari Provisions is a npc corp so no wartarget.
He had the Code on his side, that's the secret.
DeleteNo, that's the secret why he got his ship destroyed by CONCORD.
DeleteWhen this happened I had a feeling it would end up in here. Everything I said in the mail is true, I got what I deserved, and am very impressed at the agents manner in which he got me.
ReplyDeleteLong live James 315!
Every time I hear the name James 315 I think of Chairman Mao from China.
DeleteTurning our best pilots into chopsticks, who would want their security status turned from as sweet as grapes to a bad apple with worms sticking out. That's gotta hurt, lol.
Hey, watch who you call "brown tongued" !!!
DeleteBooks!
ReplyDeleteSlavery!
Delete"Gallantry, nobility, integrity. You'll never find a bad Agent. "
ReplyDeletePut them all in a sack and beat it with a baseball bat. You will always hit one that has neither.
xD
"Gallantry, nobility, integrity."
being a code-monkey requires one to have nothing of that. AND have have to switch of your brain to endure that massice stupidity.
"one that has *none*", since you're discussing more than two traits the word "neither" is inappropriate.
Delete"Being", since it begins a sentence it should be capitalized.
"have", there was no need to repeat the word.
"off", not of.
"massive", not massice.
Odd how we're the stupid ones, yet we can typically express ourselves comprehensively and your kind can't. Why do you think that is?
Express ourselves "comprehensively" lolz!!! Try "clearly" or "lucidly." Stick to haikus, buddy.
Delete"Comprensiblemente". Turns out the phonetically similar english word doesn't have the same meaning. Unfortunate, but it's the kind of thing that happens when you're expressing yourself in a non-native language.
DeleteYou speak as well in a non-english language as I do in English, and then you can justifiably mock me. Until then, it's just more hot air from Veers.
"Being", since it begins a sentence it should be capitalized.
Delete"have" ...
Speaking of capitalization...
I was quoting anon@6:15. I'd thought the quotation marks around the quotes made that clear.
DeleteYes, it was clear. It would be correct not to use capitalization when quoting a fragment of a sentence, but I am not sure if that is the case when it starts a sentence. It could be, but it looks stupid in my opinion.
DeleteThe word you were looking for is "comprehensibly" not "comprehensively"
DeleteComon on bro, I except more from a crack New Order Agent. You are going to get low scores on you customer feedback survey.
Oh, I'm not an Agent; I couldn't hope to muster the gallantry and pvp prowess required of even the lowliest Agent. I'm just a supporter of ganking and of the New Order of Highsec, nothing more.
DeleteOh, i got the spelling wrong!
DeleteSo you found errors!
You can keep them!
But i can take it from you answer, that you completely understood what i wanted to express! Since i am not a native english speaker or writer i am satisfied if you understand what i try to tell.
No please go back into the sack, i want to hit it some more!
xD
Well should have been "Now please go back into the sack".
DeleteMa Ma so even you are ashamed to admit that you are a code-monkey.
Anon@1:59, what do you mean? "Agent" has a specific meaning, and I don't qualify. I *wish* I were skilled enough at this game to be what you call a "code-monkey", but alas, I'm simply insufficiently skilled at leet-pvp. You can still call me a code-monkey if you want though; even if inaccurate, I understand the compliment that you are trying to give.
Delete