Kills of the Week

Life is about choices. EVE is about choices, too. Let's consider some bad choices that were made by carebears during the week of December 21st @ 00:00 EVEtime through December 27th @ 23:59 EVEtime, and consider how we might help the carebears make better choices in the future.

KILLMAIL

And just like that, any goodwill Sack R-A-T-T-E might have possessed went straight out the window. It's truly shocking to see there are still people who fly quintuple anti-tanked mining battleships these days. At least he had an escape plan, though--in the form of a 1mn microwarpdrive. Agents Ilithyia Borgia and Mal Warre somehow managed to catch up to the speedy miner and unleash the full fury of their Taloses.

KILLMAIL

Sammy DavisJr had a lousy freighter fit, there's no doubt. He compounded the error by ignoring his obligation to buy a mining permit. Throwing caution to the wind, he jumped into Uedama, where he was killed. Now for some proof that our Agents are always thinking of inventive new ways to kill Code violators:

Agent Vanilla Mooses, inflicting 0 damage, got full credit for this piece of elite solo PvP history. How did she do it? You'd have to ask her, but I'm willing to bet that her faith in the Code played a crucial role.

KILLMAIL

Colandria added to the death toll in Uedama this week with her 15.6 billion isk jump freighter loss. Naturally, she was anti-tanked, because who ever heard of a suicide gank in Uedama? When you think about it, every carebear who lacks a permit is anti-tanked. Agents unknown boat, Sophia Soprano, Braggs Seyllin, loyalanon, karma balancer, Amyclas Amatin, Chocolate Mooses, Globby, Jason Kusion, Quaker Oatmeal, reaper Shardani, Sasha Cohenberg, and Buhbye Rollard deserve highsec's praise for this kill.


BONUS! A behind-the-scenes look at Kills of the Week!

Competition for a highlight in a Kills of the Week post can be very fierce. There are so many misguided carebears out there. They suffer tremendous losses, all because someone on Reddit or whatever told them not to buy a permit. For example, this week, I felt it was important to highlight a dead Orca. Who would get the spotlight?

There was a 3.7 billion isk Orca. A very fine kill. But there was also an astonishing 5.6 billion isk Orca ganked this week! And yet, that didn't get featured either. Because...

KILLMAIL

I don't blame you if you need to take a moment to compose yourself after this kill. Torisia Steele lost a completely unfit Orca worth 11.4 billion isk. Carebears, do you really need to transport your BPOs through Uedama in an unfit ship? Consider alternatives, please. Agents Theodoric Darkwind, Norek Crendraven, Tisiphone Dira, Zombiepilot, Amyclas Amatin, Sasha Cohenberg, Quaker Oatmeal, DJ Rubbie, ZombieAgent, and Jason Kusion destroyed the Orca, which was worth more than many nullsec fleets these days. New Order sovereignty was enforced well.


Returning to our behind-the-scenes insights this week... When I saw that a 5.1 billion isk pod was ganked, I was very impressed. Yet this wasn't the most expensive pod popped. An incredible 8.7 billion isk pod was destroyed. (It was actually worth just over 9 billion isk if you add the value of an implant listed as 0 isk on Eve-Kill.)

Surely--surely!--a pod worth 9 billion isk would be the most expensive implant loss this week. Well...

KILLMAIL

X-FEANOR's pod was worth nearly 10 billion isk, again adding in the value of an unrated implant. Agent Sasha Cohenberg landed the kill after X-FEANOR's freighter was popped. It was a rough day for ol' X-FEANOR; he lost not one but two freighters in addition to the pod. Naturally, both freighters were completely anti-tanked, because highsec is 100% safe and nobody needs to worry about those CODE. people.

As a side note, X-FEANOR has lost several freighters over the last few months. Carebear apologists, don't feel bad for him over that 10 billion isk pod loss, either: He lost another one of those to our Agents in October. He has only himself to blame.

I'm very concerned for X-FEANOR. He should be considered unarmed and extremely bot-aspirant. Odds are good that he's involved with botting, RMT, and/or other unsavory practices. If you'd like to get a 10 billion isk pod on your killboard, you might want to engage in some PvP with him.

If not for the Code, how many other X-FEANORs would be out there stinking up highsec? Every carebear has a choice: Follow the Code, or lose everything you have. Keep highsec beautiful.