Kills of the Week

Are the carebears learning? Some days it feels like it's one step forward, two steps back with these guys. Just when you think they're taking their obligations under the Code to heart, they go AFK with a cargo bay full of expensive stuff. Or they autopilot with a bunch of expensive implants. Or they simply behave in a bot-aspirant manner.

The truth is, progress rarely takes place in a straight line. We know that the carebears will have their ups and downs. It's our responsibility to shoot the carebears so that they can be hurried along to the next "up" phase. How about some fine examples of this theory in action, from the week of April 12th @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 18th @ 23:59 EVEtime?

KILLMAIL

Qumi Sotken got all excited about the new Quafe Edition blueprints, especially a Dominix one. He got so wrapped up in his new purchases that he completely forgot about the Code--as evidenced by his anti-tanked Badger. Agent Tisiphone Dira didn't forget, though. And she wouldn't let Qumi forget, either.

With a loss estimated at over 2 billion isk, Qumi learned a lesson he'll always remember.

KILLMAIL

Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri's bumper alt was making the acquaintance of freighter pilot Effei Gloom. Effei belonged to the inauspiciously named Lazy T2 Holdings corp. This got Salah suspicious. He knew to trust his instincts, so he rallied a New Order fleet to destroy the freighter and see what was inside. Agents Braggs Seyllin, Emotion Sasen, JohnCrichton, Jason Kusion, Sasha Cohenberg, Fabulous Andy, Randy McSoggybotto, Ricki Lake Show, BoneyTooth Thompkins, dude there's my-pod, Lament von Gankenheim, Eure Dincigkeit, Melon Arbalabator, Vez Royal, Jin Blam, Candy Indevan, John Coindoin, and Jeremy Bustarhymes made the freighter go boom.

In addition to countless other BPOs, our heroes recovered a genuine T2 BPO. The treasure managed to survive being passed down all the way from the CCP t20 era. Now it is in the New Order's capable hands. Needless to say, Effei Gloom was extra gloomy that day. As far as freighter kills go, they don't get much more expensive than this.

KILLMAIL

godtallon boomer's Orthrus was destroyed by a trio of Catalysts flown by Agents Brutal Anna, Carebears' Nightmare, and Rick Therapist. You might assume that they happened to gank a random autopiloter on a gate. The full story is much more intriguing:

In fact, ol' godtallon boomer was making a nuisance of himself, mining illegally in Goram.

For a carebear, there is no such thing as "hunting mode", or a famous nullsec alt, or a deadly pirate alt. Carebears only have one setting: Bot-aspirancy mode. That's why our Agents have no trouble killing them--regardless of whether they fly ships that can shoot back or not.

KILLMAIL

Jaraxxus was wandering through highsec in a 1.6 billion isk faction battleship. In addition to the faction battleship, Jaraxxus enjoyed faction warfare. Or did he? Actually, he was a carebear who longed for the safety and serenity of highsec. He went to highsec for a break from faction warfare. Agent Nicolas Dupre, too, enjoyed spending time in highsec. He wasn't as keen on the whole "taking a break from faction warfare" bit, though. Nicolas found Jaraxxus' commitment to the Code lacking, so he killed him. There's much more to this story, but that will need to wait for another day.

KILLMAIL

Untroubled by losing a 4.6 billion isk freighter, Bruno Ensiive remained AFK long enough to lose a 3.3 billion isk pod to Agent Aaaarrgg.

Impressively, Bruno managed to run up his 3.3 billion isk pod loss while fitting hardwirings alone--no learning implants were equipped. Bruno, it seems, prefers to do his learning the hard way.