Monday, July 27, 2015

Yes, We Can Kill Your Freighter, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... A valiant New Order/Imperium task force succeeded in destroying Aaron Alckschild's freighter, which was filled with BPOs. The total loss was over 10 billion isk--a frightful price to pay for the crime of bot-aspirancy. The bumper, Enia McCool, had offered to let Aaron go free for a small ransom. But Aaron had been supremely confident that he couldn't be ganked in a 1.0 security system, so he taunted the gankers. After losing all his stuff, Aaron changed his tune completely. He pleaded for the safe return of the blueprints.
Enia McCool > well, just talked to the other guys, they want to keep the stuff, 1b just won't cut it
Aaron Alckschild > well what the heck, how much do you want
Aaron Alckschild > i have a really bad headache right now
Aaron Alckschild > I NEEEED those bpos
The carebear claimed to have only 1 billion isk left in his wallet. Almost everything he owned was in that freighter.
Enia McCool > well since you only have 1b, you're not going to be able to buy it back
Enia McCool > we've made up our mind, next time, pay the bumper, and don't carry all your stuff at once
Aaron Alckschild > NOOOOOOOOOO!!!
Aaron Alckschild > I NEED THEM , DONT GO
Aaron Alckschild > PLEASE AT LEAST SOME OF THEM
Aaron was in a poor bargaining position. It was trivially easy for Enia to sell the blueprints on the open market for full price. The gank did occur in highsec, after all.
Aaron Alckschild > MY GOD PLEASE, CONSIDER AN OFFER OR SOMETHING
Aaron Alckschild > THERES GOT TO BE SOMETHING WE CAN WORK OUT
Aaron Alckschild > ILL GIVE YOU 3 BILLION
Aaron Alckschild > ILL GIVE YOU 3 BILLION FOR THE BPOS
Aaron Alckschild > PLEASE
Aaron Alckschild > I HAVE NOTHING ELSE LEFT
Aaron Alckschild > ITS TOO BIG OF A LOSS AND YOU GUYS KNOW IT
Only a few moments earlier, Aaron had 1 billion in his wallet. Now he offered 3 billion for nearly 10 billion worth of BPOs. Typical carebear.


Enia was now preoccupied with the task of tending to the newly acquired treasure trove. She invited Multiple Inbound Supercaps to the convo. Multiple was authorized to negotiate with the distraught carebear. However, Aaron was so busy wailing that he didn't even notice Multiple's appearance.
Aaron Alckschild > ITS NOT FAIR
Aaron Alckschild > IVE BEEN WORKING FOR THIS FOR SUCH A LONG TIME
Aaron Alckschild > I CANNOT AFFORD TO LOSE THEM
Aaron Alckschild > I NEED THEM
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > is your caps lock broken?
Aaron Alckschild > NO COME ON, DUDE im am devastated
Aaron Alckschild > theres got to be something we can work out
The first step, clearly, was for the carebear to calm down.
Aaron Alckschild > shit man, this effin sucks big time
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > right
Aaron Alckschild > you know how many hours i but into this game to earn that isk
Aaron Alckschild > its really really hard work
Aaron Alckschild > and i dont have that much money left
Actually, Aaron didn't calm down very much. But he at least seemed more in control of himself once he did all his bawling in lower-case.
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > we have 4 bil in blueprints
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > from you
Aaron Alckschild > what about the other bpos?
Aaron Alckschild > other people took them?
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > those are all that dropped
Aaron Alckschild > which ones are they?
For the first time, Aaron learned that the gankers didn't have all 10 billion isk in their possession.
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > look at the killmail
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > those are the ones we have
Aaron Alckschild > wait a minute, so you only have the green ones?
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > yes
Aaron Alckschild > where the heck are the other ones then?
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > destroyed
Aaron Alckschild > no way
Aaron Alckschild > destroyed how?
It took a while for Aaron to come to grips with the fact that he'd lost much of his BPO library. He couldn't get those blueprints back, even if the gankers wanted him to.
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > game mechanics
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > you died
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > 50% of loot drops
Aaron Alckschild > ah crap
An EVE player since 2010, ladies and gentlemen.
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > so do you want them or not
Aaron Alckschild > yeah but you have to give them with a discount i mean i cannot afford to pay for them
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > how much isk do you have
Aaron Alckschild > 2 billion
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > that'll get you half the blueprints
Aaron Alckschild > ok wait
One of the reasons most of us don't have a great fondness for highsec PvE'ers is that they lie so much. To summarize, Aaron claimed to have only 1 billion isk left to his name. Then he offered 3 billion for the BPOs, and now he had only 2 billion--all within the space of an hour. The carebear's wealth was rapidly fluctuating.
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > what
Aaron Alckschild > ok ill give you 2.5 bil
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > For what
Aaron Alckschild > for all of them, i mean i cannot afford to lose all the money, i mean i just lost a lot
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > you must be joking
Seconds later, Aaron was back up to 2.5 billion isk. And carebears accuse our Agents of being untrustworthy! For the sake of comparison, a New Order mining permit cost 10 million isk three years ago, and it costs the exact same amount today. You can safely rely on the New Order.
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > why would i sell 4 bil worth of stuff
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > for 2 bil
Aaron Alckschild > man
Aaron Alckschild > come on
Aaron Alckschild > cant you consider my loss
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > well
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > no
For some reason, Aaron felt absolutely entitled to a hefty discount. But when was the last time a freighter pilot gave gankers a break?
Aaron Alckschild > how about 3 bil
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > 3 =/= 4
Aaron Alckschild > dude come on, give me a cut, its really expensive
Aaron Alckschild > I lost HALF OF the blueprints
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > you were carrying 10 bil
Aaron Alckschild > YES
Multiple Inbound Supercaps > and you expected you wouldn't die
Aaron Alckschild > I DIDNT kno
Deprived of the one thing he cared about, the carebear became unmoored from reality. He was flopping around like a fish out of water. Did Aaron have any hope of attaining redemption--or at least some of his precious BPOs?

To be continued...

33 comments:

  1. poor guy... quite humorous though. He dun goofed!

    ReplyDelete
  2. the willful ignorance of the game this person apparently plays is astounding. Also, a game isn't supposed to be WORK. if EVE is work you're doing it wrong and already lost.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A lot of the player base has forgotten that.

      While there's absolutely nothing wrong in streamlining any process in the game to achieve maximum efficiency, it shouldn't be at the cost of the "fun" factor. Or mitigating risk, which is also enjoyable in so many aspects.

      There are very few players who are experts in all of the mechanics Eve Online has nowadays, but everyone should have a basic understanding of what those mechanics are.

      Thinking freighters can't be ganked in high sec after Burn Amarr and the more recent War Akinni' gloriously successful send off isn't just naive it's totally ignorant of the events happening around you. It's like this player has been obliviously getting on with his life during a Zombie Apocalypse.

      Delete
  3. How can you tell when a Miner is lying? His lips are moving.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Man this psychotic worship of ISK is unbelievable. I just cannot fathom the mind of these carebears.

    The Code always wins!! Always!! \o/

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have never witnessed a more pitiful carebear.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Suck it Goon Swine! You suck at PVP that is why you can only fight in blobs and gank in high sec.

    But know this: We are coming to get you.

    For every miner, hauler, shuttle and pod you gank we will gank a like number in nullsec. Soon all the goons will be in highsec cause there won't a place for them anywhere else. Then they will failcascade into nothingness, and they will take this silly roleplaying "new order" with them!

    We declare war unending on all goons!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Die Goons Die!

      Delete
    2. Some epic tears there. Please show us on the doll whee the Catylist touched you.

      Delete
    3. meh those tears seem made up.... probably just another troll. I be they didn't really declare unending war.

      Delete
    4. Dear Anon @ 9.03

      "But know this: We are coming to get you."

      Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .... *gasps for breath* .... Hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahaahahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .......hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhaa ....

      Oh man, that was a good one, best laugh I've had in a while.

      The Code always wins!!

      Delete
    5. Oh no! Some random anon carebear is going to take down Goons!

      Delete
    6. Please do. I'm not being sarcastic. I want to see more Highsec players who've only ever done Highsec experience more of what Eve Online has to offer.

      Please invade.

      Delete
    7. Nice enthusiasm. But no need to start a war in null sec. If you interested in killing goons Mordus Angels have been hunting and killing them for 7 years now (and collecting their tears).

      Our killboard speaks for itself.

      If you are looking for some sweet revenge and some pvp, look us up.

      Delete
    8. @Anon9:03
      I think it's really funny that you're using the word "failcascade," which was a word that The Mittani invented, to describe what you want to happen to the Goons.

      Goon culture has even influenced the way you talk about how much you hate the Goons. I think this means, that you have been owned.

      Delete
    9. Please join Mordus Angels, they need the numbers and they do bring nice ships as well as pods.

      Good luck in destroying us by bringing us the content we are all looking for right on our very doorstep.

      Delete
  7. The free systems of Panorad remain free. We smile wryly at the infantile attempts to infiltrate our domain.

    Regards RS

    FSOP

    ReplyDelete
  8. I take it that guy`s eyes were so full of tears that he could not read the numbers in his wallet properly. :p

    ReplyDelete
  9. I agree. This plot has many twists and turns. However, please try not to use vulgar language. Try to calm down.

    Perhaps you would like to purchase a New Order Mining Permit™?

    ReplyDelete
  10. looks like anti-ganking failed to save his freighter

    ReplyDelete
  11. its all funn and games until one of your real life names get leaked and you get whats comming for you people :) harrasing people ingames might be content for you, how ever its can devestate people in real life and i have 0 problem to make an example out of a few of you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. RL threats, very carebear like.

      Delete
    2. just keep believing that, i don't even play the game i just hate people you

      Delete
    3. @Anon11:39

      "i just hate people you"

      Then you disapprove of self-control as a way to deal with people whose free speech might offend you?

      You want to, I dunno, remove people from the internet whose free actions might hurt your precious feelings?

      It's a really good idea for you to not play EVE Online then. This game is too good, and you are too thin-skinned to play it. And if you do, we will kill you, take all your stuff, and make you quit. Because it's our job, no, holy duty to prevent losers like you from playing this game the incorrect way you think it should be played.

      Delete
    4. Wow. Anon7:58 is a very scary scary anon. LOL

      Tell you what... tell us who you are and where your at, and we'll come to you. Then you can show us how scary you are. :)

      Delete
    5. There goes ming using words like 'We' again.
      He who does not undock is calling those who do undock losers.
      Talk about being ironic and moronic at the same time.
      The only 'Thin-skinned' ones are those that fear the undock.

      Delete
    6. @Anon4:05
      The only thin-skinned ones are the ones who are too afraid of retribution to post with a name.

      Delete
    7. Mr. Scary Anon 7:58,

      Big talk for an anonymous person on the internet. I think you will find that most of us aren't middle-aged men or teenagers that live in their mother's basements. In fact, some of us are current or former military. Easy to talk big on the internet. Perhaps you shouldn't get so worked up over a video game that you supposedly don't even play (but you visit and comment on our blog?)
      Try to calm down a bit. Maybe play the game and purchase a New Order Mining Permit™.

      Delete
    8. @ ming at 5:24
      Just like how your to scared to log in and undock because your scared of a game? Im sorry but your killboard, or lack of any activity on your killboard shows that your the one scared. Why don't you prove me wrong by logging in and getting a kill or three on your killboard, unless that thought terrifies you?

      Delete
  12. You muppets are easy to avoid, Eve is easy to play and navigate be it null, wormholes,low-sec or high-sec. Keep it up chaps your fail attempts to manipulate the silent majority will ultimately fail. I may just throw my lot in with the Panorad crew.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well, hey, you're not sitting here arguing for your right to be dumb!
    I applaud you, good sir!

    ReplyDelete

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