A Snowball's Chance in Highsec, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... Agent Lenda Shinhwa ganked Captain Flin-Flin's Retriever. The good news was proclaimed in local by Lenda's herald, Agent Harlequin Croft. Smarting from the loss, Flin-Flin demanded that Harlequin meet him at the station if she wanted to sell him a mining permit. It was obviously a trap. Harlequin had never won at PvP before, and was armed with only a Probe-class frigate equipped with a Festival Launcher and a civilian gun. But she had the Code on her side, so she fearlessly went to the station.

Harlequin got Flin-Flin's attention by celebrating Lenda's success in local chat, but she had irked him in two other ways, too. As a herald, it was Harlequin's responsibility to supply the carebear with the necessary paperwork following the destruction of his barge.

Flin-Flin hadn't liked that.

Secondly, Harlequin had looted Flin-Flin's wreck while Agent Lenda waited out the global criminal timer. Harlequin was now flagged as a suspect and freely attackable by all--especially Captain Flin-Flin, who re-shipped into a Vexor Navy Issue and waited patiently at the station.

All of our Agents are valiant. The New Order is known as much for its bravery as its skill. Harlequin's frigate landed at the station directly on top of the rebel's faction Vexor. She knew that Flin-Flin had no intention of buying a permit; he'd prepared an ambush. So Harlequin struck first, and struck hard. She began pelting him with snowballs.

The Vexor Navy Issue locked Harlequin's Probe and returned fire. The shields on our Agent's frigate began to give way. Now it was time for Harlequin to turn up the heat. She let loose with her Civilian Gatling Autocannon.

KABOOOOOOOOOM! Victory for the New Order!

"Meh, seems made up," you say? The API-verified killmail doesn't lie, and neither do I. Captain Flin-Flin's Vexor Navy Issue was completely destroyed. Agent Harlequin Croft was pleased. The Code was as powerful as she'd always known it to be. She defeated a faction cruiser using snowballs!

Oh, and there was one small complication worth mentioning.

Four minutes earlier...

As Baron VonSchniffle noted, Harlequin was no longer flagged as a suspect. It had been a little over fifteen minutes since Harlequin looted Flin-Flin's Retriever wreck. But carebears, as we all know, seldom pay attention to local. The miner didn't even notice that it was a CONCORDable offense to attack Harlequin--even if she provoked him with snowballs.

The Crimewatch rules were meant to make highsec carebears completely invulnerable to aggression mechanic trickery. Yet the bot-aspirants continue to die. Naturally, they still blame CCP and demand that highsec be made even safer.

Maybe the miners should get together and petition CCP to remove snowballs from the game? They're not a very intuitive mechanic.

Flin-Flin was completely stunned. In shock, he didn't even bother moving his pod. Four minutes later, Harlequin earned another killmail by attacking it with her civilian gun. And snowballs, of course. (The earlier screenshot shows her Probe attacking the pod, not the navy Vexor. Dramatic license.)

The dumbfounded carebear had been completely outclassed. He declared that he was quitting EVE forever. Would that jeopardize the sale of the mining permit he'd promised to buy?

To be continued...

Kills of the Week

When I look at all the carebears being slaughtered across highsec, I feel sorry for them, and I hope they get the help they need. I have good reason for this hope; I know that highsec is being patrolled by upstanding men and women of the New Order! Still, it will take some time before our Agents can help each carebear on an individual level. Until then, I'd like to see CCP step in and offer some assistance by putting a bigger spotlight on our activities, like they did with the Goons' first Burn Jita event. Agent Nitetime Video had a great idea:

That single pop-up would solve so many problems. It could be the basis for an entire expansion. CCP could easily get it done within six weeks.

In the meantime, carebears have their warning in the Code itself. Let's see what was cooking in highsec during the week of August 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through August 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

Balou82419 lost a freighter containing an allegedly ungankable Skiff and a whole host of items, including a large library of BPOs. The freighter was expertly ganked by a strike team consisting of Agents Sophia Soprano, loyalanon, Bratok Srayona, Jason Kusion, Dirk Magnum, Gallie Crendraven, PV Rock, Yabba Dabba Do, Nick Actilete, holdmybeer, Gohman Patrouette, Latir Darkspear, and Anti-Ganking Supreme Victory.

zKillboard doesn't value blueprints as originals, so estimates of the true value of this gank vary. A lot of items dropped. Sadly, the Anti-Gankers destroyed the cargo before it could be recovered.

...Or not! That's right, Anti-Ganking failed again. Over 19 billion isk in items were saved and put to proper use.

KILLMAIL

Nurtolus lost a 2.4 billion isk marauder and a 1.6 billion isk pod. Our Agents love to shoot ships that can shoot back, and the Vargur seemed sufficiently armed. Agents Brutal Anna, Marina Gankalot, Rick Therapist, and Carebears' Nightmare wanted to play with Nurtolus, but he was sadly AFK. Oh well. The Code was enforced and our heroes moved on.

KILLMAIL

DiaRoss is another gun-toting AFK'er. He's actually quite infamous in ganking circles. DiaRoss, along with his alt, DiaRosCris, never fail to lose expensive equipment.

DiaRosCris > pls suuport me..
DiaRosCris > so that CCP.. change that..
DiaRosCris > ERROR
DiaRosCris > we dont want to FIGHT!!! we WANT TO MINE!!!
DiaRosCris > BIG LETTER TO ccp--O CHANGE SO;ME things

Yes, that DiaRosCris. Agents Gunther Cucs, John E Normus, Pod-Goo RepoWoman, Aaaarrgg, unknown boat, Selo ibnSedef, 412nv Yaken, TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet, Sera Erquilenne, Sophia Soprano, Li Tsumi, holdmybeer, loyalanon, and Silence Dubensky recognized DiaRoss and greeted him according to New Order custom.

KILLMAIL

Speaking of notorious carebears, X-FEANOR got caught with yet another expensive freighter. This one was a doozy, worth over 14.7 billion isk. As X-FEANOR's corp name hints, he is a very special carebear. Consider X-FEANOR's personal killboard stats:

Past a certain point, statistics can't get the idea across. They're difficult to comprehend. But X-FEANOR, in just over a year, managed to lose almost 90 billion isk. And it only took him 22 lost ships (including pods) to rack it up, for a whopping 4 billion isk average per vessel.

But enough about X-FEANOR. You want to see the list of Agents responsible for taking down his freighter in Perimeter, a 1.0 security system. Credit goes to Agents Globby... and...

No, just Globby. The only other person on the killmail is X-FEANOR's webbing alt, who didn't perform very well. Globby, on the other hand, did a super job on this hyperdunk.

KILLMAIL

majorlox's pod was worth 4.6 billion isk before Agent holdmybeer started to work on it with a Thrasher. High-grade crystals and a bunch of x06 hardwirings were to blame. But it gets worse. majorlox wasn't autopiloting in a shuttle or anything. No, he was flying a speed-fit freighter worth 5.6 billion isk, for a total loss of more than 10 billion. Some credit must go to the gankers who eliminated the freighter, too...

...So, holdmybeer. I guess solo PvP really is coming back. Our Agent's Catalyst managed to squeeze out 205,000 in damage before CONCORD came calling. But wait, wasn't the pod killed by a Thrasher, not a Catalyst? Yup. holdmybeer re-shipped on site with the assistance of a friend. The pod sat there, floating in space, for ten minutes after the freighter popped. Our Agent sent it home.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #87

You know what that screeching sound means... Time for another edition of the Highsec Miner Grab Bag!

A Perfect Election, A Perfect Democracy
How the New Order Protects Your Democracy

That should get you started. Basically, it's the will of the people.

We don't hide behind websites; it's simply easier to supply links than to repeat volumes of information to each citizen.

Another carebear figuratively throws his children under the bus. But Agent Remiel Pollard won't let him get away with it. I suspect Dr Longbow was acting like a bot-aspirant long before he had any kids.

Speaking of excuses, Richie Schmitt claims he was in the bathroom (but wasn't AFK). A new wrinkle: Richie sent the EVEmail more than a week after he was ganked. Pop quiz, readers! How can this be explained?

(A) Richie remembered exactly where he was when ganked 9 days earlier.
(B) Richie was in the bathroom for 9 days before discovering he was ganked.
(C) Richie took 9 days to come up with his excuse.

Kim Askold impressively darts from one excuse to another in an attempt to make herself feel better about being ganked. "Using shields and shit" indeed. Does that really count as fighting back? If so, do the carebears need to stop complaining that we shoot ships that can't fight back, as long as the miners "use" shields?

Rusell is an anti-Order rebel. We've dealt with him before. His honour was "hurt", so he's developed a new way to use his bio.

As we continue reading Rusell's new bio, the game mechanics of his honour mission become less and less clear...

...But we wish him luck anyway.

Mining Permits Purchased: 0/1
Rusell Status: Goofus

I think I speak for all Agents when I say that we'd never put a paw over a carebear's ear. Such cynicism!

Jimmy CC wasn't at all salty about losing his 519 million isk anti-tanked industrial ship. According to Jimmy, the loss was less than 1% of his wealth. If so, then despite being less than a year into the game, Jimmy has well over 51.9 billion isk to his name. Agent PV Rock sent a reply, asking Jimmy to confirm that this was indeed the case.

Hmmm... We might need an independent audit.

Sentiel Starcraft was another carebear who had plenty of money and claimed to be perfectly content with the loss of his ship. Highsec is filled with angry, happy, furious, calm people.

In the end, only the Code can bring true contentment and satisfaction to the highsec dweller.

Glory in Gamis

If there's one thing we've learned about the Agents of the New Order over the last three years, it's that they love shooting ships that shoot back. It's a travesty that so many Code violators either refuse to properly equip their ships for combat, or simply engage in behaviors that render them ineffective in combat situations (going AFK, etc.).

However, there are those who at least attempt to shoot back. Then they get defeated by our invincible Agents.

Kalorned is back in action!

Self Defense in Gamis #2 (YouTube)

It's a video with many honourable duels, each one enriched by a backstory:

Impressive work. Who can deny our elite PvP when the proof is staring them in the face, streaming in HD?

BONUS!

The Elite

Speaking of elite PvP, in case you missed it, check out loyalanon's tribute to The Conference Elite. It's got everything you need: Combat, forum tears, my face--everything!

Interview with a PvP Legend

Friend, have you ever wanted to hear more about the New Order from Agent loyalanon?

...Of course you have. Now's your chance to hear the New Order's most accomplished fleet commander speak about EVE in a relaxed setting. The long-running Cap Stable podcast finally got a chance to have a chat with loyalanon and catch up on events in highsec. Give it a listen!

A Snowball's Chance in Highsec, Part 1

There are so many ways to advance the cause of the New Order and its Code. An Agent is someone who does something--anything--to help spread and enforce the Code. We know that highsec will eventually be brought into 100% compliance with the Code, and that it will stay that way forever. Therefore, any contribution, no matter how big or small, is meaningful.

Agent Lenda Shinhwa kills a lot of Code violators, such as Captain Flin-Flin with his unlicensed Retriever. Lenda also podded the miner right out of the system. Ganking in this manner is a traditional, accepted method of enforcing the Code.

But other kinds of Agents are often overlooked. Consider Agent Harlequin Croft. She didn't gank Flin-Flin's Retriever. Instead, she acted as Lenda Shinhwa's herald in local. She championed the cause and brought another Agent's accomplishments to everyone's attention.

Serving as the herald of another Agent is a modest, dignified profession. It's easy to scoff at a herald. But those who would mock one such as Harlequin Croft should be warned--an Agent is still an Agent.

Without warning, Captain Flin-Flin returned to the system to find everyone talking about him. He wasn't too happy about it.

Even though he'd just been punished for violating the Code, Flin-Flin didn't see himself as the bad guy. He was dedicated to mining in highsec, without a permit. Now he wanted revenge. Unfortunately, he was too afraid of Lenda Shinhwa's power. He couldn't go after the Agent who had killed him. What to do?

To Harlequin's surprise, Flin-Flin suddenly expressed an interest in buying a permit.

Yet the miner was behaving in a very suspicious manner. He wanted to meet Lenda's herald at the station. Conversing in local wasn't enough. For some reason, he needed to see her face-to-face.

Harlequin began to suspect that the miner was up to no good. Perhaps Flin-Flin decided that if he couldn't kill the ganker, he would kill the herald.

Harlequin Croft is an Agent of the New Order of Highsec. For that reason, she was fearless when put to the test. When she saw Flin-Flin waiting at the station in a heavily-armed Vexor Navy Issue, she was not intimidated in the slightest.

But the truth was, Harlequin wasn't a combat expert. She had never won a PvP battle in her entire EVE career. And she didn't have a bunch of fancy ships and weapons. All she had was a Probe-class frigate.

Harlequin prepared for battle. She considered the weapons at her disposal. She only had three of them: One was the Civilian Gatling Autocannon she'd taken off a rookie ship. The second was a Festival Launcher loaded with a few dozen snowballs. And the third weapon?

...An absolute faith that the CODE always wins.

Game on.

To be continued...