The Day the Miner Fought Back, Part 2

Previously, on MinerBumping... An elite unit of New Order gankers converged on the Anyed system in Genesis. They detected a Hulk pilot illegally mining alongside an Orca alt. As they prepared to execute a terrific gank, the Hulk pilot set up an ambush by swapping out his exhumer for a Stratios. Our heroes arrived and promptly ganked the Stratios instead.

The carebear's characters, dutchkiwi and Pureminer Pava, had been completely outfoxed by the New Order. Cynics might say that it's no big deal to outsmart a highsec carebear. However, when you consider the tens of thousands of carebears we've ganked, it's impressive that they've never been able to out-think us even once. The law of averages needs to be revised to account for the fact that the CODE always wins.

Pureminer saw things in a completely different light. He believed he'd gotten the better of our Agents. After all, they'd originally intended to kill a Hulk, and they killed a Stratios instead.

On the other hand, said Stratios was worth 323 million isk, and Hulks these days are averaging about 235 million. Pureminer lost around 90 million isk more than if he'd remained in the Hulk. Or he could've docked up or warped out and lost no ship at all. Miners don't make the best strategists, I've found.

Agent Get Well Soon tried to reason with the carebear. But Pureminer fell victim to miner logic. The Stratios was "free".

Pureminer's alt, dutchkiwi, poured out more invective. This was a sharp escalation in rhetoric: Usually miners tell New Order representatives to get cancer or AIDS, not all illnesses. Also, he wanted Get Well Soon to drop dead at the same time. I'm not sure how that would work, but maybe if you used a Phoenix Down on our Agent, he'd be revived but still have all the status ailments.

The calm miner told our Agent that he hoped his country was consumed by terrorist attacks. This was a pretty reckless statement, especially since the miner hadn't yet confirmed that he and Get Well Soon didn't both live in the same country.

Pureminer Pava, the very picture of tranquility and contentment, continued to rage in local. He must've really been missing his free ship.

By this point, the carebear was boiling over with calmness. He imagined himself committing acts of desecration, grave robbing, and necrophilia. In-game, one supposes.

In spite of everything, Get Well Soon remained professional. He earnestly hoped Pureminer would buy a permit. Isn't that something? He genuinely wished the miner well.

Anyed local bore witness to the biggest contrast in highsec. The difference between Agent and rebel was laid bare for all to see. Is it any wonder that the forces of Order are gaining strength, while the rebels are shrinking into nothingness?