Kills of the Week

The New Order carries out a lot of responsibilities when it comes to highsec. All of the responsibilities, basically. But the duty we take most seriously is our duty to protect and defend highsec. Perhaps counterintuitively, that mostly involves killing people in highsec. Statecraft is complicated. Let's see how we did during the week of October 4th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 10th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

John Omaristos Omaristos is an interesting guy. His jump freighter came under an attack launched by two hyperdunking specialists, Agents Philipa and Faylee Freir. At this point, John convo'ed the bumper and told them to let him go, since he was an alt of a member of the Imperium. That would've been useful, had John been traveling through Imperium space instead of New Order space. The attack continued. Unfortunately for John, all of the Imperium's 40,000 members were busy doing other stuff at the time, and no one came to rescue him.

Upon opening the two dozen Plastic Wraps, our heroes discovered loot worth 30 billion isk, according to Evepraisal. Also, note from the killmail that the ship had plenty of jump fuel. You know how the theme park crowd is always begging CCP to give freighters more ways of defending themselves? Consider: John had the ability to teleport to safety and didn't bother using it. Some carebears can't be helped.


In recognition of the recent hyperdunking news, how about a hyperdunking double feature this week?

KILLMAIL

Ypsasieh Yug had 15 billion isk of ship and cargo, but no money to spare on fittings of any kind for his freighter. It must've been fate that he met up with Agent Faylee Freir, who was in the mood for more hyperdunking. But Faylee had a child to attend to IRL! What to do?

What a contrast with the carebears. They often excuse their AFK mining and hauling by claiming to take care of babies. Faylee managed to hyperdunk and take care of a baby simultaneously. When it comes to family values, no one beats the New Order.

It looked like Rolan Zes was going to be the victim of another by-the-numbers gank. After unsuccessfully space lawyering, his 4.9 billion isk Bowhead was soon destroyed. Suddenly, a plot twist--

Agent Wolf Soprano's Vigilant got top damage on the gank, because Rolan Zes inexplicably offered him a duel while the gank fleet was on its way. Huh? Now cue the dramatic music: As the Bowhead was about to explode, Rolan ejected from it and re-shipped into a proper combat ship. With the duel still active, he planned to turn the tables on Wolf Soprano.

KILLMAIL

Naturally, the result was that our Agent won the battle and destroyed Rolan's 3.6 billion isk Marauder. Like all of our Agents, Wolf Soprano loves to shoot ships that can shoot back, so it was a pleasure.

Rolan retreated in his pod, which was soon ganked for another 1.9 billion isk loss. In all, Rolan lost 10.4 billion isk. Maybe that's why most carebears don't try to come up with clever plans. You can't turn the tables against people who always win, and the CODE always wins.

KILLMAIL

Oops! Rohan Kashada was carrying around 33.7 billion isk worth of random garbage, and 0.00 billion isk worth of mining permits. That ratio needed improving. Agents BAE B BLUE, Gunther Cucs, Yabba Dabba Do, Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri, dude there's my-pod, Darnoth, Dirk Magnum, Bratok Srayona, Eva Mavas, TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet, Izzy Sunji, loyalanon, Vitalix Shouna, 0rigin, InferiDiii, Alicia Adler, rackarns, Flannery, Maddie Mcbumplug, mooking, Moogular, Knackered Old Goat, SynthiaGreey, Lillie Naari, Kyalla Ahashion, Melon Arbalabator, kaz89, BAE B PEW, Aaaarrgg, Mike Litorous, Tr4buc0, Ivy Kusoni, Brudal Aletheias, Nullus Modus, Daro Mozu, and Hista came to the rescue.

Most commenters on zKillboard agreed with the decision to terminate this vessel.

KILLMAIL

A lot of highsec dwellers have learned not to go autopiloting in a shuttle these days. But no one ever told Neverblu, who paid a 4.1 billion isk penalty for her ignorance. Agent PV Rock served as her executioner, and he patiently awaited a convo request.

The CODE always wins the argument. Always.