What's a Killboard?

It all started as a routine Code enforcement action. Agent Tisiphone Dira blapped Rasinian's AFK autopiloting shuttle and the 33 million isk pod contained within. No big deal. Tisiphone invited Rasinian to a convo; he accepted. Then Tisiphone minimized the chat window while she attended to more pressing matters, like pulling CONCORD.

Bad luck: Tisiphone happened to catch Rasinian in a bad mood.

Apparently Rasinian didn't like the fact that Tisiphone ganked him and then made him wait in a convo for a bit. But this is to be expected. If you have a meeting scheduled with the President of the United States, do you think he's going to wait on you, or will it be the other way around? Same thing with Agents of the New Order.

Rasinian was stunned that a ganker would deliberately kill a shuttle. Tisiphone taught him an important lesson, artfully summarized by the popular New Order saying, "Big or small, the Code comes to them all."

Rasinian didn't care about his pod loss. He thought his deliberate violation of the Code was "no big deal". To top it all off, Tisiphone and all of CODE. were "nothing". Was this another nihilist carebear?

It looked like Rasinian didn't care about anything. Except isk, perhaps. Bot-aspirancy causes a carebear to become so focused on grinding isk that they see zero value in anything else. As a result, their people skills aren't the greatest.

A bot-aspirancy-induced void took hold of Rasinian. He wasn't upset, didn't care about his loss, didn't care about the Code, and didn't even care that the Code is allegedly ruining all of EVE. On the other hand, he seemed to be very concerned with making sure Tisiphone knew how much he didn't care.

Curiously, he claimed to have killed me "a couple times" with his mysterious alt. Or maybe there really is a James 316 out there who's constantly falling victim to angry carebears?

Supposedly highsec was just great before the New Order showed up. Either that, or Rasinian doesn't like Millennials.

Though only Rasinian's unnamed alt could claim to have scored kills against James 316, Rasinian himself killed CODE. members all the time. Or had he? Rasinian's near-perfect lie had only one flaw: He forgot about the existence of killboards.

Rasinian explained himself: His kills against CODE. didn't show up on the killboard because he only had kill assists, not kills. Incredibly, Tisiphone managed to run into an EVE player who'd never seen a killboard before.

Then Rasinian came up with another novel argument: He was an elite PvE'er.

Some people boast about their kill-to-death ratios, but Rasinian focused on his raw death count instead. Only five losses on the Rasinian character, sure, but how many times had James 316 killed his alt? And how many people had assisted in those losses? We'll never know.

Despite initially claiming to be too busy to deal with Tisiphone, the carebear had spent about half an hour chatting with her. (Our Agents are all wonderful conversationalists.) But now he had some important business to go take care of.

Rasinian looked back upon his wasted time in EVE: A trillion isk uselessly hoarded in the wallet of someone who didn't know how to spend it, a hundred million skillpoints trained into skills never used, and an alleged ability to pilot capital ships. He seemed to have it all, so why did he feel so empty, so unable to care about anything? Because he was still missing the one thing that really matters. I'll give you a hint. It starts with "C" and ends with "ODE always wins. Always!"