Kills of the Week

No one is born a bot-aspirant. Did you realize that? To become a bot-aspirant, one must repeatedly, intentionally act to slough off one's own humanity. Likewise, to rescue and restore a bot-aspirant, one must take action. That's what our Agents do. They push--or bump--the carebears back toward humanity.

As a side effect, the New Order owns the EVE killboards, much to the chagrin of our eternally jealous enemies. For your viewing pleasure, some proactive rescue attempts made by our Agents during the week of October 9th @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 15th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

KILLMAIL

No wonder the carebears don't want us to gank NPC corp members flying rookie ships! Helter Ant autopiloted through highsec while wearing his "new player" disguise. Agent Eva Mavas wasn't fooled for a moment. She destroyed Helter's rookie ship without a second thought.

It contained a vast library of blueprints, including plenty of mining-related ones. In an instant, the carebear's 4.4 billion isk investment disappeared. Typical newbie, right?

KILLMAIL

Big or small, the Code comes to them all. Inara RedAngel's hulking bull's-eye of a freighter lunged into Uedama, where it encountered a New Order fleet: Agents Jayson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, ThatOleSerpent, Jackson Kusion, Kblickens, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Chapo Muerte, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Allise Soprano.

Inara's total loss was over 16 billion isk, including a Fortizar. As I've said before, citadels are just another way for carebears to lose their money.

KILLMAIL

N 2501 was giving off a bunch of mixed signals. On the one hand, she piloted a Skiff with several shield mods. But N 2501 couldn't quite give up her addiction to yield mods, and she still had a taste for illegal ORE Ice Harvesters. Agent Orions Lord considered the evidence. One thing immediately caught his attention: N 2501 didn't own a mining permit. That sealed her fate.

KILLMAIL

Rodsmith was another carebear who opted for the tank/anti-tank combo this week. Her Orca contained a collection of BPOs (displayed as copies on zKillboard). In all, she put at least 10 billion isk at risk. She set a course for Uedama and hoped for the best. The best happened, at least where justice is concerned--the Orca's destruction at the hands of Agents Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Winnie Po0h, and Joshua Kusion. The Kusions live-streamed the whole gank as it happened. Where was Anti-Ganking? Enjoying the stream, I guess.

KILLMAIL

Gunnar Flak knew better than to fly some flimsy tech I hauler. He purchased a "Deep Space Transport" ship and fitted it out with a nice cloak. However, cloaks don't automatically activate when you use the autopilot. His illegal activities were detected by Agents Australian Excellence, Xunasy, and Tax Collector Emile, who blapped the ship with a Vexor and a pair of Tornadoes.

KILLMAIL

Joao Athonille lost 2.89 billion isk worth of implants thanks to the quick thinking of Agent Brutal Anna, who also destroyed his 315 million isk untanked Hulk. In modern highsec, expensive implants are as obsolete as Hulks.

Another week, another Michi's Excavation Augmentor down. Let's raise a toast to their extinction.