Kills of the Week

For carebears, it's all about keeping up appearances. That's why they constantly lie: I wasn't AFK, I'm not a miner, I do elite nullsec PvP on an alt, I'm secretly a war hero, I am calm, nobody's ever ganked me before, I'm just a newbie with a billion isk freighter, etc., etc. But Agents of the New Order aren't interested in lies and superficial things; they care about what's in an EVE players' heart. The Code cuts right to the truth. And now let us watch as the truth was revealed during the week of October 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through October 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime.

KILLMAIL

"Why gank a defenseless shuttle?" asks the carebear. "That's not elite PvP." Tboi Skjem showed us exactly why the New Order is right to gank shuttles. Agent Marina Gankalot popped a random AFK autopiloting shuttle and earned a 7.2 billion isk killmail, solo. That's elite PvP! Entire fleet battles in nullsec with hundreds of participants yield less.

All the skill injectors in the world couldn't help a carebear like this. For such a severe case of bot-aspirancy, only the Code will do.

KILLMAIL

"Why gank a newbie in a harmless Venture?" asks the carebear. Alexa Willow shows us why all Ventures must be thoroughly examined with gunfire. Agent Rick Therapist popped the Venture and discovered it was worth 860 million isk. That easily justifies the ganking of a few thousand more Ventures; hopefully they won't be hiding anything.

What's a newbie doing with a purple module in his cargo? Nothing good.

KILLMAIL

Last week, Uedama was so busy we couldn't cover it in one post. Among the many freighters and jump freighters destroyed: Sapheara's Ark, which was hauling lots of ships, including 2 Procurers and 3 Skiffs. None had a permit. Agents Winnie Po0h, KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb, Milkmypigeon, Chapo Muerte, holdmybeer, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Allise Soprano obliterated the carebear, who didn't bother to activate his jump drive during the battle.

Sapheara whined about the encounter--as if EVE would be more fun if nobody could damage each other's ships.

KILLMAIL

There's been an uptick of non-compliants piloting Deep Space Transports instead of freighters. They're trying to be less conspicuous, I suppose, but to no avail. After all, if we gank all the shuttles and Ventures we see, what hope do transport ships have? Mainiac IV assembled his failing-est Impel and lost 7.7 billion isk to the Kusions--Agents Jayson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jason Kusion, and Jeremiah Kusion.

KILLMAIL

Then there are the haulers disguised as combat pilots. Otec Zulu's philosophy for his Dominix was simple: Business in the highs, party in the lows. Friend, good taste never goes out of style, and that ain't it. Agents holdmybeer, Justin Kusion, Chapo Muerte, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, KoHfeTHbIu TpoLLb, Joshua Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Milkmypigeon, Jeremiah Kusion, Zula Terra, Jackson Kusion, Winnie Po0h, Joseph Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion defended the honour of true Dominixes everywhere.

KILLMAIL

Razgar Patnovich, a known Anti-Ganker, was attempting to harass Agent Aaaarrgg. When our Agent spotted Razgar AFK at a station--while suspect, no less--it was time to show the rebel who owns highsec.

Three billion isk of implants were destroyed. At the time, Razgar had been piloting what looked like a gank Thrasher. Aaaarrgg saw right through him. No matter what they wear on the outside, on the inside an Anti-Ganker is just an expensive killmail waiting to happen.