The Slow and the Furious, Part 5

Previously, on MinerBumping... Neocount entered the Jita Hall of Shame with his two-hour rant against Agent Lawrence Lawton in local chat. Neocount truly believed that if he insulted CODE. enough, the Jita street would turn against the alliance. Instead, Neocount found himself an outcast among carebears.

Hastelloy > Neocount - I'm going to boil it down for you real simple like..... their targets are targets because they make th..... nevermind... he blocked me.
Lawrence Lawton > Don't worry, he doesnt' really block the people he says he blocks.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton i didn't block you, but anyone attempting to message me are blocked yes

Neocount lost a 6.6 billion isk Orca and cried in local until everyone despised him. But he felt his EVE career was going well enough that he didn't need anyone else's advice.

Lawrence Lawton > Carebears are remarkably stubborn and thick headed. The only way they learn is from violence.
Hastelloy > apparently that doesn't work either.
Hastelloy > they just cry until ccp gives gankers more nerfs... and they will *never* be satiisfied.
Lawrence Lawton > Repeated violence is often necessary, and some of them just never get it.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton is a piece of shit pedo of eve

Strangely, Neocount began blocking everyone who tried to help him, but he didn't block Lawrence himself. Maybe he still thought he could win an argument against our Agent.

Hastelloy > I've never even ganked anyone, but I have to side with them on this... the idea that people should be 100% safe in hi-sec is dumb.
Hastelloy > like in nullsec, bookmarks are everything.... in hi-sec, not making yourself a profitable target is everything....
Hastelloy > sure if you piss someone off real good, they may spend the isk to pop you...
Neocount > the reality of it Lawrence Lawton, is that your a piece of shit ganker that is a coward and has to attack freighter and miners to even get a kill. you wouldn't last one wardec in null

Oblivious to what his fellow PvE'ers were saying, Neocount went on with his rant.

Lawrence Lawton > Now why would I leave my own territory? If you think lowsec/nullsec is so great you're welcome to go there and haul on autopilot. I won't mind.
Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid > I don't condone ganking and stuff, but you really have to tip your head to the people who do it there goes lots of work into organizing a gank party and calculating what alpha you need to pop a ship.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton b/c you are a pedo coward that preys on freighters and miners like i said, i don't care if you "happen" to have a good kill here or there. you sleep well? you know you did a good gaming job? you think you great? you kill miners......
Neocount > fucking miners.....

Sometimes the best way for the New Order to win hearts and minds is to simply sit back and let the miners talk. Listening to miners makes people see why ganking is essential for highsec.

Lawrence Lawton > Neocount I sleep very well knowing that every day I make Highsec a little bit better.
Neocount > Lawrence Lawton i wish i could sleep without a conscious. after raping ppl and being a pedo and all. wish i could figure out a way to still consider myself a good person after taking literally hours worth of work from someone, how do you do it lawrence?
Lawrence Lawton > Neocount It's going to be hard to sell you a permit if you keep abusing me this way.

An important distinction between miners and real EVE players: Gankers play EVE for fun; miners log in to do "literally hours worth of work".

Neocount > Lawrence Lawton ok, if i buy a permit for double the price will you shove it up your ass?
Lawrence Lawton > You can buy a permit at regular price and put it in your bio.
Neocount > nope, i do NOT give in to terrorism nor exploitation. NOR should anyone else in this game
Neocount > everyone should fucking target the shit outta you and your bullshit little pedophile crew

Agent Lawrence's unmatched generosity was on display for all Jita to see. He offered to sell Neocount a permit for 10 million isk. He still hadn't put the miner on the Red Pen list.

Anno Domina > ugh
Anno Domina > please just stop
Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid > langauge, please
Matthias Ancaladron > neo stfu. take a blue pill
Anno Domina > I already reported you, and damn, I've never felt like I had to do that before.

You know a miner has gone too far when his fellow highsec dwellers begin petitioning him to CCP. The GMs must be stunned to see petitions that don't begin with, "He killed me in highsec, where I was supposed to be safe."

Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid > I approve of that @lawrence lawton
Neocount > wait wait wait, you're ok with someone attacking someone else that can't defend themselves, but not a little bit of language that can be heard in a pg-13 movie, and we are in a mature game? i don't understand?
Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid > he is, he's making all the other people more cautious I don't know but I'd call that at least a minor improvement
uziel99 > Neocount it's within the rules of the game to gank people. Your best defense is to not make yourself an attractive target.

I'm not sure what film Neocount was referring to, but apparently it runs for two hours and consists entirely of characters calling each other "pedos". Rated PG-13.

Neocount > ganking is the social version of raping or pedo of someone
Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid > ye, that's stuff that can get oyu banned, I feel
Lawrence Lawton > You're right yamaoka.
Anno Domina > If you get reported, yeah. And I garuntee he did.

In all seriousness, however, it takes a lot for a highsec miner to get banned from EVE. They're not held to a very high standard. Ah, the soft bigotry of low expectations. The New Order sees more potential in the carebears, so we give them the dignity of requiring them to obey the Code.

Neocount > yes, ccp has no problem with ganking, however, multiplexing is against the eula isn't is asshole?
Anno Domina > multiwhat?
Neocount > which your guys do by warping them around constantly, the twitch streams are there
Lawrence Lawton > No, multiboxing is not against the EULA either.

Someone's been watching the Kusions, I think--and learning exactly the wrong lessons!

uziel99 > Neocount fleet warps are a game feature, not against eula
Neocount > you are exploiting the game in any way you can, when they plug one hope you get another, to GANK FREIGHTERS AND MINERS, think abt that....ppl that can't defend it
Neocount > that's fucking pathetic

Lawrence was astonished that after all this time, Neocount's fury hadn't subsided one bit. He waited for the miner to calm down so he could sell him a permit, but the storm kept raging.

Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid > So what if you are handicapped? you wanna deny handicapped people to enjoy the full eve-online experience?
Neocount > Yamaoka Tesshu Uanid naw, gommex in CODE is cripple
Anno Domina > Dude, you need to learn the game neo. And read the EULA. Seriously.

Then, without warning, Neocount shuffled off the stage. The miner wasn't calm, but he was exhausted, and the rant finally came to an end. Had Neocount learned anything from all of this? It's unclear. He still doesn't own a permit, so his future success as a highsec miner must remain in serious doubt.