Kills of the Week

One thing that's remarkable about the practice of ganking Code violators: The fairness of it. Carebears only lose ships that they choose to violate the Code with. If they suffer a massive loss, it's due to their own decadence, and the loss is of a severity of their own choosing. Similarly, if a poor miner spends all of his money on an unlicensed Retriever and goes bankrupt (gankrupt?), it's because he chose to dedicate all his isk to violating the Code. The punishment is always just.

Now to bring those principles to life, with some real-world examples from the week of April 23rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through April 29th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

KILLMAIL

Andrey Deka starts us off with a bizarre Retriever. This isn't a fit; it's a concoction. Not satisfied with his ore bay, Andrey equipped a cargo expander. He needed to offset the loss in hitpoints by equipping 'Citadella' 100mm Steel Plates. But the resultant loss of speed needed to be offset by a 1MN Afterburner. Just in case that extra speed made it harder to hit asteroids, Andrey equipped a tracking enhancer. Agent Galaxy Pig had an easier job--equip a bunch of light neutron blasters and open fire.

Agent Uncle Flacco was scouting some asteroid belts when he saw an Orca piloted by Catia Levroth. For some unknown reason, the Orca suddenly went suspect. Unsure of the cause, Flacco took it as a sign. He reshipped into a Prophecy and tackled the Orca. The Orca's two friends in Hulks retreated as Flacco and Catia engaged in a duel of combat drones. One of the Hulk pilots returned to the belt in a Brutix, which opened fire on Flacco's Prophecy. Since Flacco hadn't gone suspect himself, the Brutix was CONCORDed for his trouble. The other Hulk pilot returned with logi support, but upon being attacked by Flacco's drones, the logi ran away and left the Orca to die.

Whatever the reason for the suspect status, it provided highsec with content. If you ask me, EVE would get more subscribers if all Orcas were suspect all the time.

KILLMAIL

Staffner was the latest victim to fall prey to "Deep Space Transport disease", an affliction that causes carebears to think they're being clever when they haul with DSTs instead of freighters. The truth is that our Agents are always at least two steps ahead. Agents Ralliana, Underpaid Ship Mechanic, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector BokChoy, Luna Nightblood, Australian Excellence, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Max, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Aruka, and Tax Collector HongMei blapped the oddly blingy Mastodon and scooped 4.5 billion isk of loot.

KILLMAIL

mprotector had a 23 billion isk Orca and just enough common sense to avoid going suspect, so a suicide gank was called for. Agents Jack Fizzleblade, Grant Bant, BAE B BLUE, BAE B PEW, SynthiaGreey, Elite Highsec PvP, Arobaz, Alexis Grixis, Bratok Srayona, Bint Bint, Dewzer Eyre, Jasper Esper, Yojiro, Sigmund Jund, Lanse Lot, Vudu Mama Juju, ZAKURELL0 LINDA, Tarwinz, Hermann Fizzleblade, Gea Stormbound, Whitney Wooberg, Archibald Fizzleblade, Franz Fizzleblade, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Hagen Fizzleblade, Juju Mama Vudu, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joshua Kusion, and Johnathan Kusion melted the bloated fish.

Among the cargo was a set of 101 'Augmented' Mining Drones worth nearly 4 billion isk. It's good to get those off the chessboard.

KILLMAIL

Ouch. Jason Ryan's highsec super, a jump freighter worth 41 billion isk, was caught on autopilot and deeply AFK. The gank apparently didn't disturb Jason Ryan's slumber, as he could've activated his jump drive to escape at any time. Agents Hermann Fizzleblade, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Karl Friedrich Fizzleblade, Archibald Fizzleblade, Gottfried Fizzleblade, Hagen Fizzleblade, uninstall 01, uninstall 02, uninstall 03, uninstall 05, Johnathan Kusion, Jack Fizzleblade, Joshua Kusion, uninstall 04, uninstall 06, Franz Fizzleblade, uninstall 09, uninstall 10, uninstall 08, uninstall 07, Jake Kusion, Madula Tawate, buttman 5, buttman 6, and buttman 4 took him down. When Jason Ryan did eventually open his eyes, he must've experienced a rude awakening.

KILLMAIL

Speaking of somnambulists, SleepyBear went AFK in a shuttle--an increasingly rare occurrence in modern highsec. Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri performed his duty, not expecting to receive anything more than the satisfaction that comes with enforcing the Code.

Incredibly, SleepyBear's shuttle contained half a dozen PLEX, all of which were returned to CCP. Looks like six more months of winter hibernation for SleepyBear.