Thrasher for Your Thoughts, Part 4

Previously, on MinerBumping... The Agents of Vrix Nation corp rounded up a bunch of Code violators who'd been caught in the act of autopiloting. Interrogations by correspondence followed.

Some autopiloters are candid about their AFK autopiloting ways. Unnecessarily candid, even.

Others make excuses, as in the classic miner cliché, "I wasn't AFK, I was just [AFK]."

The more a carebear talks, the more obvious his guilt becomes. Take Jankormar Amatin1, for instance. He came up with an excuse about his screen going blank at the moment he was ganked. Extremely unlikely, but still an excuse. Then he violated the Code by expressing bot-aspirant attitudes about highsec--negating any value his excuse might've had.

Carebears tangle themselves in knots when they try to play space lawyer. Commander Hamilton quoted something not in the Code, and then accidentally admitted that he was AFK. Oops!

A cleverer carebear simply declares his innocence and doesn't get bogged down in the details. However, a clever Goofus is still a Goofus, and Goofuses are not eligible for reimbursement.

And if all else fails, throw a family member (and/or pet) under the bus.

Not all autopiloters attempt to justify themselves--some aren't calm enough.

New Order scientists speculate that the anger directed by carebears against our Agents actually originates from the carebear's anger at himself. Regardless of the source, it is a violation of the Code and has no place in EVE.

Luckily for the autopiloters, our Agents are a forgiving bunch and only deploy the Red Pen in extreme cases.

Davidd Olacar belongs to the class of carebear that claims to be unaffected by his loss but declares a vendetta against the ganker anyway. As the old saying goes, when you seek revenge against an Agent of the New Order, dig one grave--for yourself. Our Agent will be fine.

Even when an autopiloter tries to do nothing more than insult our Agent, he may still manage to incriminate himself. Magnum'PI admitted that he wasn't a newbie. He should've known better!

In contrast to the always-anonymous commenters who claim that they've never been ganked, anna radu admitted she'd lost at least three pods. She then sought sympathy, as if being a repeat offender doesn't make matters worse.

Have you noticed that EVE players with proper attitudes and beliefs about highsec are more likely to be retained? Perhaps CCP should seek out players with such attitudes in their marketing campaigns--and foster it in the game's tutorial. (Assuming they still do marketing for EVE, that is.)

Angry carebears, take note: Some of your fellow autopiloters offer words of praise and encouragement to our Agents, which helps keep them going. If our Agents are going to keep on ganking anyway, maybe you should do likewise?

To be continued...