When one looks at the Miner Bingo board, one's gaze naturally falls upon its center square. The center square is the most valuable one, since it can be used to complete a Bingo on the diagonals.
It's not by chance that the center square received its designation. It contains the highsec miner's favorite word.
Time and time again, a miner's thoughts drift back to that same word, much the same way one's gaze is drawn to the center of the Miner Bingo board. Sometimes the word describes the sum total of the miner's thoughts at that moment.
On other occasions, the miner does have a bit more substantive message that he wishes to communicate--but only in tandem with his favorite word, which tends to eclipse or undermine said message.
In fact, in most situations, the miner doesn't have a point to make. He knows this would be too obvious if he were to send a blank EVEmail, so he must fill it with something. With what? You guessed it. The word is added--sometimes repeatedly--to create the illusion of a thought.
For example, consider this EVEmail. It's virtually nonsensical. "Blunt blow in the same location and will be gf bitch"? Yet even if the substance of the message could be translated into plain, intelligible English, we would gain nothing, because there is no substance. Therefore, we lose nothing by the fact that we cannot understand the miner's words.
An even more extreme example:
You see? Though the translation was garbled, we understand this miner as well as we would if we could speak perfect Russian.
Some miners think they're not allowed to curse in EVE. They don't abandon their favorite word, though. They can't. "Fokin" or some other corruption will have to do.
When a miner deploys the F-bomb, his true intentions are always revealed, no matter how he may dress them up. Here, the miner's rage is ineffectively concealed by his alleged (and frequently debunked) argument, "You can't claim territory in highsec!"
And here, "That loss has already been replaced." (It hasn't.)
"I'll get my revenge on you with my elite PvP main or powerful friends from nullsec." (He won't.)
"Suicide ganking isn't PvP." (It is.)
Of course, some miners manage to refrain. Their self-control is enough--barely.
But our Agents know what's in their hearts, and no miner can hide it for long.
It's a shame that miners are so needlessly angry. If they each brewed up a cup of chamomile tea and gave The Code a thorough reading, so much heartache could be prevented.
ReplyDeleteTo accompany EVE, I am partial to a chilled Erdinger Weißbier, or a glass of vintage port - served with a generous side bowl of salted popcorn, (fried in coconut oil).
DeleteMiners on the other hand, and their associates, behave as though they have been drinking from a rusty can of petrol. In their instance, chamomile tea is a commendable suggestion.
Erdinger Weiss - or Scheissbier as some German brewers would say - is an excellent choice.
DeletePersonally, I would choose a Rochefort 8 or even 12. Like all Trappist bottle conditioned beers, it has a wonderful and quite remarkable parallel to the Code. As it ages it gets stronger. Always.
Miners, whoever, are only the dregs at the bottom. Too yeasty.
I agree with the professor. Why postpone joy?
DeleteAgreed, but joy is not in high sec you all are carebears.
DeleteI prefer a nice sparkling wine, preferable from France or Spain, when I gank. Not Italian, way to sweet for my taste.
Delete/Minx Mattel
I enjoy your tears as I do actual PvP.
DeleteKeep em flowing.
Anon 2:26- Dude, what are you talking about? Tears??? LOLOLOL! XD XXD XD
DeleteShow us your zkillboard where you actually pvp please.
Oh and please point out which part of our blog or agent comments somehow qualify as *tears*! LOL!
Careful the "elite" code miners may get offended by you, your not supposed to make them cry in their safe space.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA
These anon bears get confused pretty easily on what tears are because they have never harvested them and don't know of the delicious flavor.
DeleteAs for the guy who keeps commenting anonymously on our blog about how agents never go to lowsec (as if it is the last boss of EVE), check our killboards.
I'm confused but then again I have plenty of tears for all of you, you make me laugh so hard I cry. I keep those tears in a bottle next to my meds so I can remember the good times I had laughing at all this mindlessness.
DeleteWe should meet up for a drink. I do have a few bottles of laughs just waiting to be choked down.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Don't be so upset video man, your alts have been great and their killboards are just as good as any carpenter.
DeleteNailed it.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
BTW video man do you have a copy of "Faces of Death 7" I heard it was better than 9.
DeleteSeeing as how 7,8,9.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ANON 447 You seem like you want to reach out and touch someone, why don't we see your roster, I love a good game of guess who but I love to see the who obituaries even more.
DeleteOr in this case would it be your popcorn bag. Did you POP them all or is this another anon to anon proof thing that goes exactly no where?
No matter, I'll get the butter anyways.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Circle of Two Alliance robbed!!, CEO is ban by CCP!!, Over a trillion in assets stolen!!
ReplyDeleteThe CEO and the turd that awoxed the alliance are both just displaced highsec miner carebears. They both deserve each other, and they both should get a permit for a new game.
DeleteYes we know James is a carebear hiding in high sec with his miners.
DeleteHiding, HA. Ole Jamey boy isn't hiding hes scamming his ass off making these monkeys do all his work. He has yet to return to low sec though and is still pretty butthurt about getting killed.
DeletePerhaps he confused Amar energy turrets for mining lasers. News flash, mining laser don't kill ya Jamey!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Why does Jamey boy have bad eyesight?
DeleteHe's afraid of LASER eye surgery.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
FOKIN MINERS
ReplyDelete7A. Capsuleers are prohibited from using offensive, sexually-suggestive, or obscene language in public chat channels.
Delete7A. Capsuleers are prohibited from using offensive, sexually-suggestive, or obscene language in public chat channels.
DeleteThe brain power of this agent spoken loudly in two words. o wonder he's afraid of players, he cant even type, how's this one supposed to communicate properly?
DeleteHey call the Professor, one of his prized students has escaped his cage. May need some more experimentation before this ones ready to leave the school house again.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
couldn't vornamen use a tiny slice of his 45 billion to buy a permit?
ReplyDeleteNo he was saving it to go to low sec where you carebears fear to tread.
DeletePlease carebear418, you've never even been through a lowsec gate, how would you know anything about anything?
DeleteNot to mention your 'lowsec argument' means nothing to an agent of the New Order of 'Highsec'. Highsec being the key term there if you had any doubt.
Keep crying about lowsec though, it really showes how ignorant you highsec carebears really are.
Please continue to act like a big man and stay in high sec where carebears belong, you and your savior are proof that even failures can play.
DeleteKeep those tears coming.
Keep impotently crying on a blog about high sec while pretending to be some low sec PvPer, while CODE keeps wrecking you.
DeleteSure but lets ask something, who is still in high sec complaining about people who never fire a shot at them?
DeleteThat's right, the carebear.
Keep those tears flowing.
Tearyanon143 don't know what tears are? Why is he still trying to convince everyone he's not a highsec crybear?
DeletePoor sad little hisec miner got rekt so hard he forgot who he was!
Again ask yourself, are you living in high sec?
DeleteIf that answer is yes then you are a carebear.
Tears, so yummy.
Keep trying code miner.
Yes I live in high sec, although it might be a bit different from what your talking about. High security prison for the criminally insane, but who splitting hairs here. Come by for a visit, people will simply lose their minds.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
never forget shardani
ReplyDeleteLeast they forget?
DeleteOh wait, kalynn was a child killer, not a hero..... although he did AN HERO.
Silly carebears and their "morals", too uneducated to know right from wrong, too greedy to understand true self-sacrifice.
Never forget shardani is right! Also never forget that there are still people in game that will dismiss his atrocities as being a side effect "of watching ebil gankers get away with video game murder", blaming gankers for playing the game properly.
Oh man, I'm glad I didn't get any extra chromosomes.
Yup the man wolf couldn't kill had to do it for him. Sorry wolf I don't think that counts.
DeleteIt's hard to kill someone in Eve if all they do is hide in station.
DeleteIs it irony that kalynn was scared of killing in game but had no qualms about murdering his child IRL? Or is it just what scared little highsec carebears do?
Much like code hides in high sec and says they cannot lose even when they do. Sorry but elite status is reserved for those who accept loss and fight in low and null.
DeleteYour tears are noted and your RL harassment is childish.
Please post more of your failures and tears we love to hear from carebears.
Cryanon502 has no proof of any of his claims. He's just another sad little highsec carebear trying to sound space tough.
DeleteIt's gotta be that extra pair of 21's.
Yet you prove everyday that you live in high sec making you a carebear.
DeleteKeep trying miner.
Anon 4:22, what is your toons name? Why do you pretend to be something you're not?
DeleteIf you care so little about High Sec, why are you here?
Is it possible you lost a ship in High Sec?
What's yours, I like having a chat with people, I wonder though the point of one anon asking another anon for a name? Perhaps you will try something fun, but I doubt it.
DeleteAs for ships let me know when you have one, all you players seem to forget you never had ships, just a game.
Then again why did you guys make an article to grieve over people saying fuck, almost as if the word hurt you. Then again you know how sensitive the college crowd has become, did your feminist study group let out early today and your having a fight with the guy from AP Fuckery class?
Do tell what you would do if you found said person, either in or out of the game. I just have to know since you and your kind have made such a thing outside of Eve.
I hope your creative to say the least
HAHAHAHAHAHA
You've got to be some kind of special to think it's acceptable to act like these highsec ag carebears. When is it ever appropriate to use threats or vulgarities over a video game? A pvp game at that.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who thinks EVE is not pvp, and that not wanting to pvp is an excuse to make threats and cry over pvp, is willfully ignorant of how the game works. Any 'non-pvp' player is a detriment to the health of the game and the community, and should be hunted down and pvp'd until they ship up or quit. That is what's best for EVE.
And there's nothing the carebears could do to stop the killings but cry and rage quit, except maybe stop being scared and ship up to fight.
But we all know that will never happen. The most they can accomplish is to bring more traffic to this site by posting daily tears and ignorance.
So why are you still acting like carebears and hiding in high sec pretending to be elite?
DeleteBTW Yes your failures are sweet to read about please post more tears.
O_o
DeleteNo sense === Non-sense.
ag has finally lost their minds, like that Aldo guy...
And the winner for no case made is this guy above, your referencing gameplay outside of a game as if it mattered to your real life.
DeleteSeriously take up a hobby I like taxidermy, it lets me find new ways to skin the cat.
HAHAHAHAHA
Do you not see? The Holy Savior wants to save, not kill!
ReplyDeleteBut he is still a carebear.
DeleteHello I'm laughs a lot bear, lets bury the hatchet.
DeleteDeep in a skull.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
"Some miners think they're not allowed to curse in EVE."
ReplyDeleteAnd they're right. The EVE rules clearly states that miners should be courteous in local and should refrain from the use of profanity, and that they should treat gankers with respect. It's a shame that some people just can't follow simple rules.
Totally agree butu the biggest offenders are the code miners, they swear a streak to make old fashion sailors blush.
DeleteYour tears are yummy miner, have you read the code of eve?
High sec is for carebears, Stay put we don't need to babysit you.
Oh please babysit? You really think babysitting these lethal killers will be good for them. All of you are quite mad. Which is why I come here and poke the dead, brain dead that is.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA
You sound juvenile and emotional. Finally get your first period?
ReplyDeleteSorry was busy busting your sister chunk, lemme know when you need your bottle or diaper changed little man.
ReplyDeleteOh and pick up your toys when your done playing saviors and miners.
Keep trying miner.
How mad you gotta be over spaceship losses that you feel the need to threaten someone. Regardless of your education, you are ignorant if you cannot control yourself any better than that. Just getting mad is bad enough, as there's no reason to be mad over pvp in EvE, but being so mad that you actually make threats. Threats that you have no ability to follow through on, because let's face it, if you are the type of retard that loses his shit over pvp then you are probably too scared to actually want to confront someone IRL.
ReplyDeleteI don't know a single ganker that I wouldn't have a drink with IRL, we may not agree on everything, but I don't know of any that would seem like a threat. I cannot say the same about highsec ag carebears, those are some violent idiots.
Does that drink include a ganker who likes to chat about child murder? We all know of one.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA
I know lets invite the G's and the AG's over for some drinks together, it would be a hoot. At the very least it'll be a blast, of course it may all just BLOW up in our faces.
DeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Wow the agents of code so triggered by the word fuck.
ReplyDeleteSuch wonderful tears. Where did the miner touch you today?
Get good.
HAHAHAHAHA
FUCK
ReplyDeleteA dozen code agents just pissed themselves. Ah the power of such a word that it triggers even the mighty code carebears.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Toys, I love toys, mine is a gun that says bang when you pull the trigger.
ReplyDeleteGranted the flag flies out and stabs the poor soul but I get a laugh out of the whole deal.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I hope the next article is just as fun as todays, I love to ORCAstrate some good laughs.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHAHA