Kills of the Week

EVE Online has a lot of stuff associated with it, both in-game and out. How do you know what's important? Well, if something makes the difference between you keeping your ship and losing it, then it's probably pretty important. Logically, then, everyone should consider the Code to be very, very important. I'd recommend that new players read (and comprehend, to the best of their ability) the Code before they even sign up for the game. Otherwise, they may share the fate of people like these bot-aspirants from the week of January 7th @ 00:00 EVEtime through January 13th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

KILLMAIL

"Ten million isk for a permit? I'm not buying one of those. That's a waste of my precious money. Oops, I just lost 37 billion isk." I'm paraphrasing what Padme Amidal was undoubtedly thinking in the hours leading up to her staggering jump freighter loss.

Despite being in a 0.8 security system, Padme had little chance of survival against the firepower brought by Agents Tax Collector Stroheim, Pod Destroyer Molly, Taxman Daniel, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Aruka, Jason Kusion, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Hill, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Buck, Joshua Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joel Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Tax Collector AynRand, Mining Lord 1999, and Din Dong MingMong.

KILLMAIL

Ah, the return of the ORE-fit jump freighter. xxysy managed to lose 38 billion isk after spurning the Code. He, too, was obliterated by overwhelming force, brought against him by Agents Taxman Daniel, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Buck, Australian Excellence, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector AynRand, Ding Dong MingMong, and Mining Lord 1999.

You may have noticed that both of those supremely blingy jump freighters were killed in the same system, Iyen-Oursta. Apparently there's a lot of carebears up to no good in that neighborhood. Agent Australian Excellence snapped this photo of the traffic situation there.

KILLMAIL

If you're a carebear and you're willing to blow a few billion isk, how badly can you fit your Marauder? hapser alt spent 4.4 billion isk finding out. His disturbing experiment was terminated by Agents SPL18, Tengu Skillpoints, Hypnotekz Kincheloe, Ilvari, Luca Oskold, BAE B BLUE, Etrisa, Ciek Ciekawski, Liam Campbell, Duncan Dainese, elYorne, Lawrence Lawton, Reagalan, Bolshave Rotineque, Donna Hale, Hygea Hintersil, Lora Madwar, crimson destroyer, elise densi, Teomis, Thunder Saisima, Brynden Egen, Lanse Luv, Saint Shaserra, Verruckte Vrooni, Evan Devrin, Silly Bint, Projected Intentions, Alice Doombringer, Miss Defiler, Michlos Otomeya, kouriger yoitsu, Sjugar02, Starrlet, Ami Hantaka, kiwi fruitscrotum, Ioannes Dallasinos, and Kali Devastaitor.

KILLMAIL

Not everyone is foolish enough to throw away a bunch of isk by losing a jump freighter; some people lose Deep Space Transports instead. Midas Topaz sighed, activated his autopilot, and awaited the inevitable. On this day, inevitability was provided by Agents Ralliana, Luna Nightblood, and Underpaid Ship Mechanic.

Honestly, Midas should've trashed these items before undocking. There was no chance he was going to get away with moving this sort of cargo.

KILLMAIL

I strongly suspect that CaptainStrange was perfectly aware of the New Order and its presence in the Uedama system. Look at that tank--it's almost as if he cared about his survival! Not enough to buy a permit, though. So not enough. Agents Trump The King, Nitetime Video, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Fiddly Pop, Tawny Rozei, Christine Rozei, Sherri Rozei, Giselle Rozei, Ruby Rozei, Shanade Rozei, Lagatha Rozei, Katy Rozei, Ivanka Rozei, brainlet, Baron Rozei, and Jason Kusion gave the carebear a 14.8 billion isk demonstration of the power of teamwork.

KILLMAIL

...Which was followed by Agent Baron Rozei's 4.8 billion isk demonstration of the power of quick reflexes. CaptainStrange lost his implants and, when he returned to his keyboard, lost his cool. I'm guessing. Maybe he was totally fine with it.

That's some serious hardware for a guy who spends his time AFK autopiloting through highsec. No one ever accused bot-aspirants of being good at managing money.