Puke patrol! We have sadly, seen numerous mining battleships before. But Solal Ott raised the stakes with this atrocity--a faction battleship. Thank goodness for the resolve of Agents Alt Void, Alt O, Erigeneia, Alt 10, Alt 00, Dr Petrosilius Zwackelmann, Alt Proxy, and Piz Caldera, who looked horror right in its face and still managed to coordinate a successful gank.
Cpt Jay Fury assigned himself one great mission: To tank his mining ship enough to protect its pair of decadent ORE Strip Miners. Cpt Jay threw himself into the task, grabbing hull, armor, and shield tank modules. Apparently he didn't realize he was tanking up a Retriever, which is like designing a piece of heavily reinforced tissue paper. Agents Konrad Boros, Lewak, Maximus Gooseman, and Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri reduced the inexcusably expensive mining barge to rubble.
Unlike Cpt Jay, Ronin Woman didn't bother with all of that tanking nonsense. Hers was a more serene bot-aspirancy; she was even content to leave some of her fitting slots empty. Agent Guybertini blasted the blingy Mackinaw with a rare gank Naga.
Selli Sever breathed a sigh of relief when she brought her jump freighter safely into a 1.0 security system. Actually, two minor corrections: First, Selli probably didn't breathe a sigh of relief, since she wasn't at her keyboard at the time. Second, she didn't enter the system safely--because there is no safety without the Code.
A gank like this in a 1.0 system requires a lot of firepower. A truly titanic gank armada descended upon the target: Agent Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector HongMei, Australian Excellence, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Richard, Taxman Daniel, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jake Kusion, Justin Kusion, Tax Tickler, Dead Black Whale, Dead Blue Whale, Dead Red Whale, Dead Orange Whale, Dead Pink Whale, Dead Purple Whale, Dead Geen Whale, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Max, Jason Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Dead Gray Whale, Jackson Kusion, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Larry, Dead Brown Whale, Joshua Kusion, Dead Yellow Whale, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector AynRand, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Hill, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Jeremiah Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, HSM Chief PettyOfficer, Din Dong MingMong, and Ektallion. All welcome the "Dead Whale" family!
Adikas blundered his way through highsec, preferring bulkheads to a mining permit. Big mistake. Adikas soon found himself on the receiving end of a gank of epic proportions--a combined effort of the New Order and NCPL: Agents Australian Excellence, Taxman Daniel, Lorkrakt Atavuli, Shmores, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector Aruka, Kohan Cridmon, Danktor, Justin Kusion, Tax Collector Hill, Jayson Kusion, Tax Collector HongMei, Dooderary, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector Kimi, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Tax Collector Stroheim, Jayden Kusion, Tax Collector Yuna, Evan Giants, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector AynRand, Joel Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Shardani, Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Sooooooooooo, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Nicholas Fett, Oswald Askold, Salvador Codolle, Miss Princess, TheLegend47, Titus Dallo, Jason Kusion, Ainsley Corey, Francis Edier, Korgi Belwuf, Lupus Caedora, brainlet, and Sneeze.
Because bumpers usually don't show up on killmails, they tend not to get the credit they deserve. Even so, their heroism is legendary.
...And, I would add, the carebears don't realize how much skill it takes to do bumping right. Hence, they tend to die when they try their hand at it. Bumping is arguably the most elite PvP that EVE has to offer.
After his Noctis was dispatched, Spatter Analyst got a rare opportunity: To study his own spatter. Agent Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri splattered the carebear's pod, leaving behind plenty of spatter to be analyzed.
A Goofus and his implants are soon parted. The sooner, frankly, the better.
An amazing week! Great work agents! James be praised!
ReplyDeleteIronic how many times your bots die bumping but you tell others how hard its is by how much they die.
ReplyDeleteDouble standard.
By the way Wolf is late, he should have said antiganking failing so hard and remember shardani by now.
You need to get your bots back up to speed they aren't praying to their child killers timely anymore.
Some antiganker is a little butthurt. Ready to make the switch brother? Have you read the Code? Are you woke? Permits are 10 mil isk and is the first step to becoming an agent.
DeleteHey betaanon1044, everyone knows the only reason you post the same obvious lies each day is because of how butthurt and mad you are that you are completely helpless against pvp'ers in a pvp game. You have only yourself to blame for that, EVE is not for limp-wristed pedo bitches. You should play something more suited for your type.
DeleteDon't forget to tell your friends that the Code was the reason you went full shartdani when you leave that final tear filled note.
Until then get a permit or get rekt, criminal. Our current Highsec civilization is founded on laws, ag crims get no quarter. You can't hide from the law friend, an Agent will find you if you continue to endanger good honest pilots. It's inevitable, good will always triumph over evil.
Bumping is indeed a largely unsung occupation, but it is where The New Order started. The Machariel is CCP's gift to us.
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing pod! What a perfect character name too! Outstanding excellence in Code enforcement.
ReplyDeleteWhere is your proof of dedication to the Code, faildo? Any shitter can give away a few million "stolen" (lol) ISK; but where is the blood of your highsec miner friends? Do you even gank bro? Oh that's right, you half-assed tried it then you had an episode and biomassed. We all loled.
ReplyDeleteYou should have just doomheimed and let it be that, no one believes you now. Sometimes it's better to stay dead. Your friend kalynn knew how to quit EVE, what's your major malfunction?
Such tears much wow.
DeleteJames knows. ;)
DeleteNothing intelligent to respond with so failanon125 resorts to crying about nonexistent "tears". Good job faildo.
Delete"It is not an Agent's job to answer to carebears. Agents, in fact, are the Code; they embody it. The Code manifests itself in them." - James 315 I.XXX.MMXVIII
DeleteWhat is this guy going on about? Am I the only one who feels left out of the loop about this? Who are you?
DeleteGankeranon 11:29-
DeleteYou're right about a couple things, I do need a permit, and I should use Aldo to enforce. So your challenge is accepted, I'll move Aldo to my other accout, and I'll use him as my second enforcer. It's #gonnabegud
But you are very very wrong about the IRL threats and what not. That is something that I would never do and if I did it would be your responsibility to get me banned. Go for it. Make it so. You can't cause it's #fakenews.
The Code Always Wins!
And for the record Shardani was never my friend.
DeleteIt is amazing how many freighters died this week!
ReplyDeleteAll agree could is watch and cry. They fail so hard. Daily.
Autocorrect fail... ag not agree. Lol.
DeleteI saw a hitchhiker while driving today, he had a sign that simply read "HEAVEN".
ReplyDeleteSo I hit him. Hope he made it.
I would do the same for any of you ag pedos. ;)
Never forget shardani.
And...this is why I don't mine in Hisec. It's that simple, people!
ReplyDelete