Kills of the Week

Okay, CCP. We get it. You want us all to focus on (and buy) skillpoints. Thanks, but no thanks--I'll stick with the Code. And you, dear reader, would be wise to do the same. Or else you could end up like these decadent isk-grubbing Gobloks from the week of March 8th @ 00:00 EVEtime through March 14th @ 23:59 EVEtime:

KILLMAIL

If you come to Uedama in a battleship, you had better be ready to battle with the Kusion family. And that goes double for the pilots of blinged-out faction battleships. Nerzan Aldent lost a staggering 6.8 billion isk when he autopiloted his "combat" ship into Uedama. He was easily defeated by Agents Jason Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and Caution AsianDrivers Ahead.

KILLMAIL

Luin Chelien managed to lose an even more expensive combat ship: A 9.1 billion isk Marshal. A large fleet of gankers wasn't necessary to take him down; a trio of Tornadoes was sufficient for the task. Agents Ralliana, region 152, and TroubleShooter Maker calmly and professionally blapped the target, as our Agents do.

KILLMAIL

Evolution Choker was the latest carebear to get caught trying to smuggle his freight through Uedama using an Orca instead of a freighter. Inexcusably, his Orca was equipped with a number of blingy modules--in addition to its excessive cargo. Agents Jake Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Justin Kusion, Josh Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Josiah Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jason Kusion, Sashi Shi, Darth VaIdemar, iPreferPads, and Thomas the Embezzler sounded the alarm and restored peace to Uedama once more.

KILLMAIL

Months after a nerf to bumping elated many of highsec's freighter pilots, the freighters and jump freighters are still dying at a rapid pace. Loci Endor was ganked in a 20 billion isk Ark. She saw no risk in packing so much isk into a jump freighter; she even used ORE cargo expanders! But the Tax Collectors were on to her: Agents Tax Collector Richard, Tax Collector AynRand, Australian Excellence, Taxman Daniel, Pod Destroyer Molly, Tax Collector KarlMarx, Tax Collector Aruka, Tax Collector Kittens, Tax Collector Stroheim, Tax Collector Max, Tax Collector BokChoy, Tax Collector HongMei, Tax Collector Kimi, Tax Collector Yuna, Tax Collector Shardani, Tax Collector Alison, Tax Collector Larry, Tax Collector Buck, Tax Collector Fuemi, Tax Collector Rachel, Tax Collector Hill, Mining Lord 1999, and Dr Hattrick.

KILLMAIL

As we just saw, it's possible to drop nearly two dozen Taloses on a jump freighter in Jita and kill the target before CONCORD arrives. But you might be wondering how few ships can be used to successfully gank a freighter, under more optimal conditions. Liallian Skir and her 18 billion isk freighter provided our Agents with the opportunity to find out. As the carebear autopiloted through a 0.5 security system, our heroes managed to gank her using just five Talos pilots: Agents Ashlee Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Yan Rackner, Jani Rackner, and Georgia Rackner. About 10 billion isk worth of loot dropped from this kill. Not a bad trade for five battlecruisers!

KILLMAIL

On occasion, a ship is destined to die simply because it is too dumb to keep on existing. It seems nobody ever told WG-dilu about shield hardeners or armor hardeners or damage controls. And, I'm sure, he would claim that nobody ever told him about the Code. But Agents Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Sashi Shi, Johnathan Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Jack Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Caution AsianDrivers Ahead, and Josiah Kusion gave the carebear a vivid, practical lesson in how to play EVE. Step one: Stop being a Goofus!