Kills of the Week

Imagine if someone told you, "I want a video game that I can play without ever paying attention to it." You might dismiss that person as a bot-aspirant. But if he told you, "I think EVE Online is that game," then you'd know that he is a Code-violating Goofus. And you would know to look for his name on Kills of the Week posts. From the week of May 3rd @ 00:00 EVEtime through May 9th @ 23:59 EVEtime...

KILLMAIL

Sergio Dzyubak took a heavy loss when his 7.8 billion isk freighter was leveled by Agents Jayson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jake Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Jack Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jonas Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, and Josiah Kusion.

But, in fact, that's only part of the story. You see, Sergio was using his freighter to carry out some courier contracts. In addition to losing the freighter itself, Sergio lost the value of the collateral on those contracts, which greatly exceeded the value of the cargo.

Sergio apologized to Bath Towel for failing his courier contract. Sergio had no idea that he was speaking to an Agent of the New Order--one who routinely makes a profit by setting up courier contracts to fail.

KILLMAIL

Blingy battleships make bad hauling ships--especially when they're on autopilot. Gripen ANM learned that the hard way when he lost 5.2 billion isk to Agents Young Loving, FleetJump Jump, Mr Lovinn, Lovin Jr, Caldari Citizen 2116212079, and 1400mm Gallium Cannon.

KILLMAIL

Orcas used to be common hauling ships. After CCP redesigned them, people started using them for AFK mining instead. The Ninja Girl revived the old practice of using an Orca as a freighter. When she drifted AFK into Uedama, she met a family who believes just as strongly in keeping traditions alive. Agents Jonas Kusion, Joel Kusion, Jayden Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jason Kusion, Jake Kusion, Jayson Kusion, Justin Kusion, Jackson Kusion, Jeremy Kusion, Jimmy Kusion, Jessie Kusion, Johnathan Kusion, Jeremiah Kusion, Joshua Kusion, Joseph Kusion, Jeffery Kusion, Josh Kusion, Jacob Kusion, Josiah Kusion, and iPreferPads treated The Ninja Girl to a Kusion-style fish fry.

KILLMAIL

Goddess Aphrodite, a jump freighter, the Niarja system, and a set of ORE Expanded Cargoholds. These ingredients, when combined, could produce only one outcome. Ah yes, and another ingredient to add to the mix: Agents Ashlee Rackner, Georgia Rackner, Rebecca Rackner, Yan Rackner, Kirra Rackner, Celestia Rackner, Jani Rackner, Emily Rackner, Zoe Rackner, Jemma Rackner, Phoenix Rackner, Ivy Rackner, Adara Gaea, Olivia Rackner, hegils, Charlotte Rackner, Kimberly Rackner, eviserater Doudel, Globby Rackner, and Vladimir Puotin. Goddess Aphrodite was left with a sour taste in her mouth. No surprise there--her recipe didn't include a mining permit!

KILLMAIL

Aria Sathana was just your typical member of Silent Company alliance. She believed that isk wins battles, so she spent 5.7 billion isk on her Paladin. But then Aria got into a fight with Agent God Emperor Kane. Kane belongs to Belligerent Undesirables, an alliance with a rather different philosophy about EVE. Aria predictably lost the battle. The very next day, she lost a 2.8 billion isk Paladin to members of the mighty CODE. alliance. Obviously CODE. and Belligerent Undesirables are good, but we mustn't forget that Silent Company really sucks.

KILLMAIL

ashantiavi krystora was enjoying her 2.2 billion isk bling-Hulk when she was ganked by Agents Amora Bunny, Rafa Quinterro, Amelia Bunny, Ship Insurance Liberator, Alana Bunny, Ayda Bunny, and Afifa Bunny. Then ashantiavi opened her mouth. Do you suppose she made things better for herself, or worse?

We'll learn more about ashantiavi later. Good guess, by the way.